Days of our Lives really, really, REALLY wanted us to believe that the most obvious suspect was the culprit, but all it managed to do was make the entire town of Salem (except for Marlena) look absolutely ridiculous. This past week had us screaming at our screens, as well as one step away from throwing things at the screens. Just enough.
Jeremy is not Stephanie's stalker. We've known that from the start, and now at least Stephanie knows it too. Sadly, Salem's dimwit professional detectives and amateur detectives have yet to catch on. So, let's take those two scoops and dig into how dumb everyone was. (Again, except Marlena!)
Dead to rights

Dopey cop Jada thinks seeing someone wearing a mask is having them dead to rights. It doesn't matter that she couldn't see the face of the person holding the knife in the Square on Halloween. They were wearing the same mask as Jeremy on the biggest mask holiday of the year, so that had to mean the man was Jeremy. This is why they made her police commissioner. "We have Jeremy dead to rights now," she said. And we screamed. At our screens. Cause Jada is that irritating.
At one point, even Steve looked at Jada in confusion as she put on her tough cop voice and told him that the Horton cabin was empty. Steve noted that it was their only lead, but then it hit him. Why would Jeremy take Stephanie to the most obvious place? Yes, Steve, why? Maybe you shouldn't listen to Jada all the time because your BFF's daughter needs to find a new line of work.
But maybe another bell should have gone off in Steve's head. If the most obvious place would be the wrong place to look, then maybe the most obvious suspect might not be your guy after all. Police commissioner and Black Patch are really slow on the uptake here.
Oh, no! Stephanie's been kidnapped

How many more people who have barely shared a scene with Stephanie were going to say that with shock and horror? The reaction throughout Salem had us giggling all week. How does Gabi know Stephanie? Why was she losing her mind over this? And Chanel? When was the last time they even shared a conversation?
Watching the entire town react to a kidnapping that only took place hours ago as if this were their best friend in the entire world was bizarre. However, EJ reacting for about an hour and then just moving on with his daily machinations was pretty funny. But nothing was funnier than Alex shouting into that picture frame as if this was the only way that the stalker would hear him. That just added a layer to this dumb cake.
Dream a little dream of you

Let's not forget about the entire episode dedicated to making us believe the stalker was Jeremy after all. It was obvious from the start that Stephanie was having a nightmare. Or at least it was to us. Some fans were confused and not happy. Like us, they never wanted Jeremy to be the stalker and felt let down. But the end was pretty clear. A shot rang out in a lit room with three people in it. Seconds later, Stephanie was all alone in a dark room again. By the time the credits started rolling, we knew that DAYS was only trying to fool us.
The sheer relief we felt by the end of the week, when Marlena finally got through to Kayla and convinced her they might be looking at the wrong guy, was palpable. After all these months, someone finally made sense. Thankfully, Stephanie also got the hint — the hint being the actual stalker, Owen Kent, showing his face. Now, can we finally get this show on the road?
Dangerous games

We have some mixed feelings about Sophia's latest plot to ruin Holly's life. We still don't know what makes this immature character so vengeful and have no idea what makes her tick, but she continues to be fascinating. We just worry that she is nothing but a plot device and we will never know the true inner workings of Sophia's delusional and dangerous mind.
And perhaps her plot to drug Holly would work better if Holly weren't a character who already had a drug problem and ended up in a coma from tainted opioids. Watching Holly be unwittingly drugged by her former BFF while having no clue why she is acting erratically just leaves a bad taste in our mouths. Couple that with using a child to drug her and this story needs to end super fast. Like tomorrow. Please. (We doubt it.)
Days of our Lives Odds and Ends

We spent much of last year as TeamChanel as Johnny committed screw-up after screw-up, but now we are firmly on TeamJohnny when it comes to his relationship with the DiMera side of his family. We get that Chanel is furious with EJ for trying to pin his shooting on her with an AI video. But EJ is still Johnny's father. Their relationship may be complicated, but whether Johnny wants to have one with his father or not is his business and not hers. The same can be said for his pull toward DiMera Enterprises.
And finally, we want Javi back. We know he will be a different Javi when he does return, but the Dimitri thing is just not working for us. He is too overbearing and there doesn't seem to be any substance to his relationship with Leo. And watching them in a hotel room for a week was just not our cup of tea, even possibly tainted tea from Ivan.
Till next week, Scoopers, when we pray to the soap gods that this stalker story comes to a blessed conclusion.
Catch all-new episodes of Days of our Lives weekdays on Peacock.