My, How the DiMeras Have Fallen: Days of our Lives Two Scoops For the Week of December 8th

Remember when Days of our Lives' Stefano DiMera was the all-powerful Phoenix with new children popping up every few years, as he moved players and pawns around his chessboard and ruled lives while returning from the dead with ease? He even ran an international crime syndicate while doing it.

Well, now Stefano is (probably) dead, his kids are always bickering, squabbling, landing in jail, clawing each other for control of the company, and now a bunch of them are stuck in a crypt eating chicken out of a can, as well as pretzels and crackers. And the Kiriakis clan managed to take over the family company, which is apparently now a legit organization, with stockholders and everything. Stefano would be appalled, but at least the crypt dwellers gave us a fun week. So, pick up those scoopers and let's dig in.

Days of our Lives DiMeras among the dead

Kristen keeps getting injured in the crypt | Image: Peacock

At first, we thought someone was just after the DiMera siblings, but Theo's appearance in the crypt put a damper on that theory. Theo came up with his very own theory that whoever kidnapped them and is keeping them hostage wants DiMeras with power, but what kind of power does Chad have? He has never been a DiMera CEO, has no desire to be a DiMera CEO, and runs a small local newspaper, which isn't exactly an international conglomerate.

They also now know that EJ is not the one behind this because he is also in the crypt with them. He might still be unconscious, but he is there. As are many dead bodies. However, the only dead body they seem to be concerned with is the one that they came across while digging with their hands and a few small candle sconces. (Or vases? We are not sure what those were.)

We have no idea why Chad immediately decided those bones had to belong to Abigail when even we could see what Theo saw — that those bones were way too big to belong to a wisp of a woman like Abigail, much less a woman at all.

As an aside, are there soundproof bedrooms in the crypt that had Kristen and Tony snoozing so soundly that they didn't hear anyone else being dropped off? Also, the assumption that Theo had to have been kidnapped because he was late to a date and his phone turned up outside the Brady Pub was really quite a leap, but at least it as the correct leap.

Duelling DiMera plots?

Cat is no closer to learning EJ's secret | Image: Peacock

We admit, we did wonder about EJ for a bit because he is clearly up to something ungood in that lab, and in the tunnels where Dr. Rolf had set up house. Are EJ's machinations related to whatever is going on in the crypt, but he just doesn't notice?

Watching EJ plan and plot with Gwen for months had us sure he was somehow behind Tony's initial disappearance. After all, how can there be TWO DiMera mysteries on one show that sometimes doesn't even give us more than 32 minutes of storytelling? With Susan also now involved, do both of these plots have to do with Marlena's mind, body, and soul? Cause none of those things are doing very well right now.

Poor Marlena...

Xander sought therapy from Marlena | Image: Peacock

Marlena was clearly around one too many mosquitoes this year, as she is now stuck in a bed in University Hospital with Lyme Disease after pacemaker surgery. She is also quite sad because Brady was still not talking to her and even moved out of her apartment they like to call a townhouse, despite the fact that it is not a townhouse.

She is also seeing patients from her hospital bed, as Leo and Xander say they just want to visit and bring flowers, but end up using the visit as a therapy session. At least Marlena likes them and we like them. In fact, we love Leo and Xander because they are two men who have done sooooooo much wrong in their lives, and now only want to do right. We love a good redemption arc and love people (even fake people) who can take accountability for their actions and try to be better people. Marlena clearly loves people like that, too, and that is why we love her. And, it's also why we are still mad at Brady.

How convenient...

Shirtless Brady is so cliche | Image: Peacock

Brady and Sarah live together now, which means that Brady's anger at Marlena is one of the most obvious plot devices we have ever seen. How cliche to put this chemistry-less potential couple under the same roof in close proximity. Half-naked meet-cutes in the upstairs hallway? Check. Long, lingering stares with nervous laughter? We got that too. It's just a cacophony of stereotypical soap nonsense we don't need.

Xander and Sarah are endgame. Brady is forever directionless while falling for women who end up with someone else. Rinse, repeat. Maybe when Kristen is finally found in the crypt, he can offer his baby mama a well-deserved apology.

What the heck is Sophia up to?

Sophia brought back some burgers | Image: Peacock

We still don't know what Sophia's game is, except wanting to cause mischief in Bayview and have someone be her lookout and decoy so she can run out and get some burgers? Did Amy leave her with a debit card? A phone with her debit card downloaded? A wad of cash? How did she even pay for these burgers she and Rachel shared?

She talks about wanting to get home, but all she has to do is open her mouth and speak to anyone but Rachel to speed that along...

Salem odds and ends

Rafe's job is hella confusing | Image: Peacock

Stephanie has a stalker again. Sigh. Really, that's all we have to say there. Oh, and Stephanie is suddenly gunshy about having kids. Make Stephanie just make sense, please.

Wait, so Gabi still doesn't like our beloved Leo after all this time? Why? Make this make sense, too, please.

And who does Rafe even work for? Is it the FBI? The ISA? Himself? Since when does the ISA assign inter-agency partners? Cat is Rafe's partner while she is an ISA agent, and he is an FBI agent? Yep, another story that just needs to make sense. Please.