The Phoenix Will Never Rise Again: Days of our Lives Two Scoops For the Week of February 2

Days of our Lives finally did something that has been a literal decade in the making — and also something we never thought it would ever do. It finally laid Stefano DiMera to rest. A legendary character played by a legendary actor for nearly 40 years, Stefano DiMera was larger than life while making life in Salem a literal hell for its greatest heroine. Isn't it fitting that she uttered the final goodbye? And that is where we will start the Salem week that was.

The most awkward memorial ever

Steve and Kayla were two of the strange guests paying their respects | Image: JPI

How does one hold a tender memorial for a man who tortured so many souls that half of them ended up being possessed by the devil himself at one point or another? Well, awkwardly, we guess. Because there is nothing normal and natural about watching Roman, Marlena, Steve, and Kayla walking into the DiMera mansion to pay their "respects" to Stefano, a man who never gave them a moment's peace when he was still among the living.

In all fairness, Stefano was only among the living sporadically because he died so many times that we've pretty much lost count. But when he was around, there was never, ever a dull moment, especially for Marlena. Stefano first kidnapped her in 1983, just after her wedding to Roman. That's when she ended up delivering Liz Chandler's baby girl, Noel, who also happens to be Sarah Horton's half-sister, but that's a whole other story.

Eventually, Marlena ended up becoming Stefano's Queen of the Night. When he oddly entered her bedroom through an armoire in 1994, that somehow allowed Satan himself in. And weird things have been happening in Salem ever since.

And weird things happened when Marlena had her final words with The Phoenix, or at least his ashes in an urn sitting on EJ's desk. The lights flickered as the portrait watched from above. Since Stefano would have been about 97 years old at this point, we can assume DAYS was truly trying to tell us that Stefano's light had finally left Salem. As it should have 10 years ago when Hope shot him right in that same living room (which has since been remodeled), and we never saw him on screen again.

The Days of our Lives DiMeras in shambles

Chad and Kristen don't even want to live in the mansion | Image: JPI

Just because Stefano is really and truly gone this time doesn't mean that the DiMeras are still not the dirtiest bunch in town. Heck, even Kristen is done with them. The woman with a Phoenix tattoo that encompassed nearly her entire back got herself a room at the Salem Inn so she wouldn't have to deal with the insanity that is her adopted family again.

Between whatever EJ is working on in that lab with Stefano's own personal mad scientist, Wilhelm Rolf, and Gwen's Alamania machinations, Kristen has had enough. And Chad? He hasn't wanted to live in that mansion for years. Instead, he hightailed it to the anti-DiMeras and lives in Tom and Alice Horton's old house.

So, the only actual DiMera left in that big old mansion is EJ. Elvis Jr. is just wandering around the house with his Mama scolding him and his houseguest, interloper Gwen, who also happens to be Jack Deveraux's retconned kid.

Alamania

Don't you just laugh every time you hear the word Alamania? It sounds like some kind of out-of-control rock concert or a Saturday morning cartoon from the 1980s. But somehow, there is an entire country named for Vivian, which we guess is on par with megalomaniacs who need everything named after them. Rafe and Eli traveled to that country this week to watch Vivian talk on her old rotary phone. Between Aremid and Alamania, one would think that cell phones had never been invented.

Back up...

Nobody needs to be fighting over Roman | Image: JPI

Now, back to Marlena for a quick hot minute. Is Days of our Lives trying to present us with a Roman/Marlena/Kate triangle? Is that really what is happening here, because it is not something we need?

These characters are great-grandparents and even share the same great-grandchildren. We don't need to see two great-grandmas fighting over a man when Roman and Marlena have not been together since the early 1990s. Marlena is allowed to be a widow who mourns and still manages to carry on with her life. She doesn't need a love interest, and she certainly, most definitely does not need a childish love triangle at this point in her life. Nobody asked for this, so please don't do this.

It's all happening at Bayview

Sophia's latest scheme is very ungood | Image: JPI

And now let's go back to everyone's favorite free-for-all mental health facility, where anything goes and all the staff can do is make excuses when one of their teenage wards does just as she pleases, sneaking out into Horton Town Square at will while encouraging her younger friend to eat paper.

Dr. Gregory may have been giving Kristen the side eye when she demanded to take Rachel home due to the shoddy supervision at Bayview, but we were giving Dr. Gregory the side eye as she refused to take any responsibility for the chaos around her on her watch.

Unfortunately, Rachel was the least of our concerns this week. We are now more worried about Holly. In what might turn out to be a very irresponsible story, Sophia has replaced Holly's skin care supplements with some sort of illicit drug, knowing that Holly was comatose for months after using opioids just two years ago.

After Holly's well-documented high school drug problems, dragging her into a story in which she is now being drugged doesn't sit well with us at all and we hope DAYS doesn't take this story in an even worse direction than where it seems to be heading. However, with Holly losing it on Tate this coming week, we might be getting something nobody asked for. Cringe? Yep, probably.

And finally...

Leo walked right out on Dimitri | Image: JPI

Three cheers for Leo. Our favorite fast-talker got Dimitri into his Salem Inn room and stripped down in bed, only to walk out the second Dimitri's head hit the pillow in anticipation of what was never to come. Bravo, Leo! NOBODY deserved it more.

Now, go fly to Texas and get Javi back since Tio Gabriel seems to be doing great. At least Dimitri is about to be behind bars again, which we'll unpack next week, because so long for now...

Catch all-new episodes of Days of our Lives weekdays on Peacock.