⁠“There was a fear that I would be the next target”: Neil Patrick Harris says gossip bloggers forced him to publicly come out

79th Annual Tony Awards - Arrivals - Source: Getty
Neil Patrick Harris says gossip bloggers forced him to publicly come out - Source: Getty

Neil Patrick Harris thought back on why he officially came out as homosexual in 2006, stating that his fear of being targeted by celebrity gossip bloggers drove him to expose his sexuality. During a recent podcast, the How I Met Your Mother star expressed concern that rumors about his private life would get out of hand if he did not address it himself. He said:

“There was a fear that I would be like, the next target.”

Neil Patrick Harris recalls fearing he would become the "next target"

During an appearance on the Great Company with Jamie Laing podcast, Neil Patrick Harris reflected on the early days of his relationship with now-husband David Burtka and discussed how celebrity gossip culture in the mid-2000s impacted one of his life's most important decisions.

The actor revealed that he had already started dating Burtka before being cast in the role of Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother. According to Harris, everyone working on the sitcom was aware of their relationship. He revealed:

“I had started dating David, who’s now my husband, David Burtka, well before I auditioned for ‘How I Met Your Mother. Everyone on that show knew David, knew that we were a couple.’”

However, he claimed that the internet at the time was flooded with celebrity gossip blogs that often speculated about actors' sexual orientations and encouraged readers to identify closeted celebrities:

“But that was at a time when there were bloggers on the internet and that you would go to like read the salacious, you know, ‘Try to guess who this actor is that’s gay and in the closet,’ kind of comment.”

He stated that the online speculations made him anxious:

“And so, there was a fear that I would be like, the next target on that. And David and I would go to movie premieres together, but I would walk the carpet and he would go around the other side of the photographers.”

Harris said he and his now-husband kept their relationship out of the spotlight

Neil Patrick Harris pointed out that concerns about public scrutiny influenced how he and Burtka appeared at industry meetings and events. They attended movie premieres together but avoided strolling the red carpet as a couple:

"David and I would go to movie premieres together, but I would walk the carpet, and he would go around the other side of the photographers because we weren't a couple."

The actor added that they originally justified their decision by keeping their relationship secret and focusing on their own careers:

"We could justify it and say, 'That's our private life', which it was, and we don't need to parade stuff around and ask too many questions. 'I'm here for work, I have a career, and so does he', which was all very true."

Over time, Neil Patrick Harris realized that the arrangement could make Burtka feel alienated:

"But, intrinsically, makes David potentially feel less than. If I’m getting to walk across while he’s like skulking behind, right? And then, sure enough, the the target came towards me in a very weird way."

The situation became more complicated when comments linked to a publicist concerning Harris' sexuality surfaced online. According to Harris, his alleged statement that he was "not of that persuasion" sparked even more speculation:

“A comment had come out that I had said that I wasn’t of that persuasion, which was the quoted phrase. Like someone asked a publicist about my sexuality and the publicist said I was ‘Not of that persuasion.’ That turned into, ‘That’s weird for him to say because we know that he’s gay.’”

He understood that if he kept quiet, someone else would eventually reveal the truth about him:

"And so, then it became, well, I'm going to have to say something to get ahead of this story. Because I don't want to be coming out in reaction to 'if anyone has any information on Neil Patrick Harris', and 'have you ever slept with him?' and 'please come forward'. You know, those stories."

Neil Patrick Harris publicly came out in 2006

Rather than waiting for someone to reveal the truth about him, Neil Patrick Harris chose to come out publicly in 2006, with the support of his agency and publicist. Despite his fears of backlash, the reaction was considerably more calm than he had anticipated.

In a year's time, he and David Burtka made their first official red carpet appearance together, got married in Italy in 2014 and are now parents to twins Harper Grace and Gideon Scott.


Although Neil Patrick Harris didn't mention Perez Hilton, the celebrity blogger previously confessed to targeting the actor during the peak of his gossip website's fame. Hilton has now expressed regret for his conduct and revealed that he apologized to Harris. According to Hilton, Harris accepted the apology and even asked him to contribute to his memoir.

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Edited by Zachary D. Lyngdoh