Baby Helena Goes to Boarding School (Poor Baby Sam): General Hospital Two Scoops for the Week of September 21st

The chickens have come home to roost for General Hospital's kissing Cassadine cousins, our very own teenage Bonnie and Clyde, Danny Morgan and...that delightful little menace, Charlotte, her grandmother's pride and joy, we are sure.

When the year began, who would have guessed all the places we'd go or the adventures these two would take us on. But we should have guessed because these children are Cassadines. And one of them was the science experiment of a madwoman determined to create the perfect specimen and Spencer and Cassadine and...she did. So, let's dig in with those two scoops and begin this journey.

Our Little Science Project

Little Lolita is facing the consequences | Image: ABC

Let us never forget our 10-year journey with little Charlotte, who was supposed to be Nathan's daughter. Then, she was supposed to be Father Griffin Munro's daughter. Then, suddenly, she was the daughter of "the most evil Cassadine of them all." The one Helena feared so much that he himself is now so fearful of his daughter living in suburbia that he took her phone away and sent her to a Maine boarding school, hoping that will tame her. Because the most evil Cassadine of them all appears to have skipped a generation. Valentin just wants to shoot hoops and make dinner for Carly.

Let us not forget all Charlotte has given us since almost the beginning. Remember why Nina and Willow hated one another for years? That's right. Our little Charlotte, the spoiled brat who Nina doted over because her own mother stole Willow and Nelle right from her womb when she was comatose for 20 years and Charlotte was the perfect replacement child.

Nina would never even entertain the idea that her precious little Charlotte was a precocious little bully, torturing poor Aiden Webber throughout third grade. (Wasn't it weird when she semi-dated Jake, who is both Aiden and Danny's brother?) She fought Willow tooth and nail over Charlotte, but eventually, even he had to concede that his little girl was a bit much, as he one day dragged a ranting and raving Nina out of Willow's classroom and apologized for his wife's behavior.

Remember Violet's birthday party back in 2021 at Anna's house? The entire child cast was there with their parents and a snake ended up in Ava's purse, courtesy of our Charlotte. Then, Charlotte stalked Anna years later, thinking Anna would hurt her Papa and ended up shot in the abdomen for her efforts.

And now, she is going to boarding school, but not before having a year like no other with that sweet little menace who never means anyone any harm...our precious Danny, a boy who might need a defensive driver's course.

Danny and Charlotte's Year of Misadventures

Danny and Charlotte have had quite a year | Image: ABC

There are still three months to go, but it looks like Danny and Charlotte's experiment with a pseudo-cousin-romance-turned-weird-partnership that never really went anywhere is coming to a close. And we guess it all started last fall when Gio and Emma roped Charlotte, Danny, and Rocco into breaking into Professor Dalton's lab and Charlotte was all ready to lie to the police to save her brother. Danny was game, but he couldn't lie like Charlotte, so they couldn't pull it off.

By January, they were sneaking off on his dirt bike to visit her fugitive father in Carly's attic. They even attempted to do that on foot during the blizzard, but ended up in Willow's gatehouse kissing. Then, they had to think about that for a minute and ask their parents for a little family tree lesson. Oh, Charlotte's granddad was Danny's great-uncle? So, Danny's grandma and Charlotte's dad are first cousins? Hmmm... Yeah, Danny and Charlotte (and apparently, GH) realized that was not going to fly.

But that didn't mean they couldn't hang out, right? Alexis may still come to regret that night in April when she allowed Charlotte to drive Danny home, but Danny drove and they ended up in a car accident on Route 91.

Those two crazy kids also had some misadventures on Spoon Island and some of our favorite Port Charles pals have no idea they are lucky to be alive because of this dynamic duo. Cullum almost killed them both when they broke into Wyndemere last spring, but even Sidwell wasn't about to hurt two teenagers. By June, they were setting off firecrackers on the island to cause a distraction so Carly could save Josslyn. And Carly and Josslyn are currently alive. And so is Liesl. Because of our two teenage vigilantes. Bravo.

Jack Brennan didn't fare as well, so when he ended up doing the dead man's float in the Metro Court pool, Charlotte and Danny found him. And why were they at the pool late at night? Because their attempt to break into Drew's office failed so they figured they'd enjoy an evening swim while the pool was closed.

And since they couldn't get into Drew's office to find any dirt on him, Charlotte decided to manufacture dirt by becoming a little Lolita in his car. Sure, why not break into a former congressman's car and set your phone on record so it could capture you throwing your arms around him in a suggestive manner. What a sane plan that would surely never get a suburban teenage girl from a Greek-Russian royal family sent to boarding school.

But that is where we are now. Charlotte is stunned. Danny will be crushed. And Valentin? He might need some Alka-Seltzer and one of Lucy's gummies. Oy vey.

About Baby Sam

And our poor Danny, who is Sam. We are tired of hearing characters go on and on about how Danny comes by his reckless nature naturally and is just like Jason. Um, no. He is just like Sam. If we are to blame is on genetics, he takes after Sam and Sam alone. When Jason was Danny's age, he was a Rocco, quiet and studious, with plans to become a doctor. A bad driver who never should have gotten behind the wheel turned Jason into who he is today and even Jason reminded Danny of that recently when he took his son's driving privileges away.

So, our Baby Sam is about to lose the yin to his yang, and it's going to cost him. A whole new chapter will begin for Danny Morgan, so let's see where it takes him and us.

Prison

Baby Dez made the week better | Image: ABC

The teen scene wasn't the only scene with action this week because we also had a busy time in prison, a place Baby Helena may end up if she is not careful. Or maybe she will end up in Steinmauer, where Papa Valentin has spent time. Now, Stepmom Nina is there, too. If only Charlotte hadn't left dead Jack in the pool, but we digress.

Baby Dez paid a visit to Pentonville this week and we were all smiles because Baby Dez was all smiles. (And so was Curtis, but we'll allow it.) Really, how cute is Baby Dez? Don't we love him?

The prison cuteness came to an abrupt halt the next day when a clearly terrified Sidwell begged Alexis to do him a solid and have a chat with Sonny before something extra terrible happened. Pretty please?

Welp, Alexis didn't take Sidwell seriously and something terrible did indeed happen. We are not sure how we feel about a beaten and bloody mess in a prison cell ending the week, but at least we are going to get some good story out of it because it turns out when you are a criminal since your teen and are now a grandfather, you may not be sure what is legal and what is not.

Is Sonny Confused?

Sonny doesn't think he did anything wrong | Image: ABC

Sonny knew enough not to allow Ric in on his conversation with Vito, but he didn't really see a problem when he gave Ric the gist of it. He also seemed to believe himself when he told Justine that he had no intention of breaking the law and swore he was being completely honest. How could we be angry? Well, Justine is going to be angry. And we can't blame her.

Around Port Charles

Willow is nothing if not consistent | Image: ABC

Jordan has a sister? Ok. Let's see how this goes. Hopefully it goes well, as this was sorely needed. Jordan was the first Ashford introduced to the canvas a dozen years ago, and she is not even an Ashford. Now, we feel her maiden name is Mitchell; she grew up in California, and we couldn't be happier to finally learn something about her.

Britt and Anna are cool again. Kinda, sorta. We think. Were they ever cool to begin with? Can we move on now? Can Anna be sane again?

And Willow? Oh, Willow. There she is out there offering the WSB anything to return her mother safely, while also repeating her steam room sex fantasies from five years ago. When Willow was getting ready to cheat on Chase, we all know what she was thinking of in that same spot. Here we go...

Till next week, Scoopers, when Danny Morgan loses another loved one and Sonny learns what is legal and what is not.