Jordan Almost Killed Brook Lynn, Curtis Punched Isaiah: General Hospital Two Scoops For the Week of September 7th

Okay, General Hospital, what are we doing here? And we mean this with the utmost sincerity: What are we really doing here with this car crash story? There is zero doubt that this story is going to end up on every year-end list for worst GH story of the year.

It also might quite possibly be the worst soap story of this year, when 2026 also brought us Lexie's resurrection on Days of our Lives, Matt Clark's miraculous redemption on The Young and the Restless, and Electra wanting her "best friend" to live out of her car on The Bold and the Beautiful.

Heck, this might be one of the worst GH stories of all time, and let us now explain why:

Jordan Kissed Curtis

Jordan thinks she is the victim | Image: ABC

One can say that Curtis is the root of all of this because he didn't have to pucker up and catch Jordan's attention that fateful night in April. But Jordan is a grown woman with agency, a woman who was a cop, a federal agent, a deputy mayor, and a corporate raider. She was supposed to be...intelligent.

But this stupid (fictional) woman leaned over and kissed this stupid (fictional) man while driving and took her eyes off the road. And nobody, absolutely nobody, is to blame for what happened to Jordan and Curtis that night but Jordan. And Jordan freely admits this. And after Jordan heard the point of view of the very apologetic "other driver," Jordan was angry because clearly something happened to her head during this accident. And let us explain why.

Brook Lynn Almost Died...And Apologized

Brook Lynn feels horrible for allowing Jordan to nearly kill her | Image: ABC

This car crash story had been getting on our last nerve for months. Within days of the accident, Jordan freely admitted that she drifted into the other lane when she leaned over to kiss Curtis. She saw another car coming at her, so she attempted to swerve back into her own lane, overcorrected, and ran off the road into a tree. Seemed pretty cut and dry. The other driver did nothing wrong, and it was Jordan who drifted into another lane.

We weren't sure where the controversy was and figured this might be a nothingburger story that involved Jordan's car more than anything else. Instead, it became Curtis looking for any excuse to pin something on a man who was nicer to his poor, maligned ex-wife than he was. And now it's become something to malign a woman who was nearly killed.

However, until this week, we never really saw things from "the other driver's" point of view. That was when we were forced to watch poor Brook Lynn beg for mercy and apologize profusely as she described driving along on the road to hear her son perform, before seeing another car drift into her lane with headlights practically blinding her, as she watched in terror as that car careened toward her. It was Brook Lynn's quick thinking to get out of the way that caused her to scrape the guardrail. (Which means Jordan is responsible for that misdemeanor.)

So, we listened to Brook Lynn tearfully apologize to Jordan for having the audacity to allow Jordan to nearly kill her and not report it. Because that was what happened. Jordan nearly killed Brook Lynn because kissing Curtis was top priority and Brook Lynn stood in her family living room, weeping and apologizing to the woman who nearly took her life. Again, what are we even doing here?

A Word (and Then Some) About Trina

Trina needs to listen to her mother | Image: ABC

Is Trina for real? That's what much of the fandom and even Portia wanted to know when Trina decided that Curtis is only in jail because Brook Lynn forgot to mention that Jordan nearly killed her. And Portia doesn't even know the massive secret her supposedly always honest daughter has been harboring since January. She allowed a woman who shot a man twice in the back to walk free, regain custody of her small children, and ascend to Congress. (Although anything goes these days when one wants to ascend to Congress; Willow is child's play, no pun intended). All so she and Kai wouldn't be caught trespassing. Good job, Trina.

So, who is Trina to tell Brook Lynn that A-she doesn't believe her and Brook Lynn must be lying when she says she did not realize the car coming at her had crashed and B-she is the reason her stupid, hot-headed father is behind bars? We were quite pleased when Portia stepped in and reminded Trina that the only person responsible for Curtis punching Isaiah was Curtis. And the fight was barely even about the car crash. Brook Lynn tried to remind Trina of that too, while also apologizing, which was equally ridiculous because again: Brook Lynn had nothing to apologize for.

She Scraped a Guardrail

Why is Justine handing out traffic tickets now? | Image: ABC

Did Justine Turner, the ambitious and "high-powered" assistant district attorney sleeping with coffee importer/ex-mobster Sonny Corinthos, really drive out to the Q estate to take a statement from Brook Lynn with her lawyer present so she could hand out a traffic ticket? Because that is essentially what happened. And she did that because Brook Lynn's husband is an a**.

And Now...Chase

Chase deserves Willow at this point | Image: ABC

We are real glad that Tracy has already hired Brook Lynn a divorce lawyer because Chase needs to pack his bags and free Brook Lynn from such a horrible husband. Last year, we thought Chase was the best husband on soaps and 'Chlynn' had the most stable marriage, but wow, what a turnaround one year can make. Ever since precious flower Willow was accused of a crime she actually committed, Chase has been out of his mind. But this is Chase and always has been. Look at all he risked for Willow's equally crazy dead twin.

Chase had the audacity to say he wasn't sure how he could look at his wife again after what she'd done. Okay, Chase, what did she really do except nearly get killed by Jordan and then apologize for the act of nearly dying because Jordan had to kiss Curtis? She tried to set up Willow for nearly being killed by Jordan? Is that Brook Lynn's crime? Cause wait till Chase learns what Willow really did. He'd be on his knees begging his wife for forgiveness, which she obviously should not give him because Brook Lynn sadly married a dud.

Villains of the Year: Curtis and Jordan Ashford

Curtis and Jordan do not realize they are the villains | Image: ABC

Yeah, these two. Are they serious? Is GH serious? Is anyone serious with this story? Cause again, what are we even doing here?

Jordan had to run to Pentonville to give Curtis the news that she nearly killed Brook Lynn Quartermaine when Curtis leaned in for a kiss. And Curtis was mad? Not at Brook Lynn (at first). No, he was mad that it wasn't Isaiah because he wanted it to be Isaiah the entire time. When Willow was a false suspect, he refused to believe it wasn't Isaiah. And when Jordan first gave him the news, he still refused to believe it until he learned that Brook Lynn had confessed to nearly being killed.

And Curtis is in jail because Curtis punched Isaiah. And he punched Isaiah because he didn't like seeing Isaiah's hand on Portia's baby bump. That was the reason. So, Curtis destroyed that hand instead due to his own arrogance and foolishness and Brook Lynn has absolutely zero to do with Curtis being behind bars.

And maybe Jordan should be behind bars for kissing and driving. Or at least sued for reckless endangerment of a human life. Again, what are we even doing here?

Moving On: Anna Nearly Killed Britt, But She Did Kill Peter

Britt and Anna both have fair points | Image: ABC

Yes, other things happened on General Hospital this week, besides the opposite world of the Ashfords in which nearly killing someone makes you the victim. The Halluctination Peter story ended and we couldn't be more pleased. We knew Anna was eventually going to just shoot into the air and put us all out of our misery, so thank you, Anna, for doing just that. We applaud you.

And we applaud getting our real Anna back now because it's been close to a year since she was taken and has been herself. This is also a hard one because we get why Britt is furious and terrified. Anna really did lure her out there and hold a gun on her, while forcing her to kneel on a tarp. But did Britt really say she knew about what had happened to Anna since January? Because if she really said that and really meant that, we have to re-evaluate some feelings about Britt here.

The confused look on her face when Jason accused her of that seemed sincere on Friday, and she will accuse him of not believing her on Monday, so will she deny it? We're not sure if GH is offering us a retcon in order to end JaBritt quickly and smoothly, but we don't like it.

As for Anna, maybe she shouldn't get to decide what kind of psychiatric treatment she gets, considering how she just fooled a team of doctors in France. She did commit a crime, so maybe compromise on Shadybrooke and not Ferncliff. (Don't ever send our Anna to Ferncliff.)

Around Port Charles

Scout knows how to lie so she can kiss a boy | Image: ABC

Carly threw Nina under the bus. Scout threw Danny under the bus. And we think Ava and Drew will throw anyone under the bus that they can in order to make sure they are never implicated in what happened to Jack.

And that was the Port Charles week that was. Only four days, but two big stories came to a head and one of them is, indeed, the worst story of the soap opera year.