Junior Spy Josslyn Does It All...And Knows It All: General Hospital Two Scoops For the Week of November 2

General Hospital's very own Avenger Barbie is still avenging, even if her vengeance is aimed at the wrong person. It's a good thing she has six weeks of spy training and one solved case under her belt because she can't fail, right? Well, apparently not. Because Junior Spy Josslyn sees all, knows all, and can figure it all out in the blink of an eye. And that is where we begin this week — with the 23-year-old wunderkind who can do no wrong.

First, the DNA

Josslyn knew what Brook Lynn wanted | Image: ABC

While it was obvious to us that Brook Lynn was trying to get Josslyn's DNA so she could learn if Phoebe had any Jacks blood coursing through her veins, to any other soap character, this would not have been apparent.

But Josslyn knew in an instant what Brook Lynn wanted after she offered to recycle the (unusually large) water bottle she had so generously handed to Josslyn after her run. And Josslyn was so Josslyn about it — matter-of-fact and know-it-all. "If you wanted my DNA, you could have just asked."

My, isn't our Josslyn so, so clever? She wanted Brook Lynn to know just how clever she is, as she generously handed over her DNA.

Inspector Gadget?

Josslyn has a bag of tricks | Image: ABC

Not only can Josslyn shut down power supplies and internet connections by guessing the right wire, but she has a purse full of gadgets to solve any crime. Just like that, she knew Ric had to have bugged something that belonged to Hudson, so she dug into her bag of tricks and dug out some spy machine that would lead the way.

Of course she did. That's our 23-year-old junior spy who started off as pre-med, moved to environmental science, and then joined the WSB on a wing and a prayer, and now is the star child of an international spy agency. But wait! There's more.

But Here's The Problem

Josslyn is also way, way in over her head | Image: ABC

Not only is Josslyn a super spy at 23. She's also a corporate executive. It doesn't matter that she has no business training or education. She's now an expert CEO of a multinational corporation because, of course, she is. And is she good at it? Well, she appears to be, but there are some issues.

This dopey girl has no idea what she just bought with her Daddy's money. She has no idea what she really wants to do with those piers and has no idea how many petty criminals will battle for it. And these are the criminals the WSB doesn't care about, so she's not going to have any backup.

On top of that, Genius Junior Spy was the one who gave away Phoebe's location when she blabbed Brook Lynn and Chase's adoption story to Hudson. And has she looked into who Hudson Parker is? Surely, a junior super spy would want to check out his story. Isn't it convenient that he shows up and tells her she is CEO when she is mysteriously unable to contact her father because he decided to sail around the world?

Who's zoomin' who here and why would Josslyn even fall for this if she is the savant WSB agent we are supposed to believe she is?

And then there is her ridiculous vendetta against Sonny. No matter what she wants to believe, her vendetta stems from Sonny cheating on her mom when Carly and Sonny were pretty much on a break. (Carly had kicked Sonny out.) And that is why it falls flat for us. This is a girl who was perfectly happy to accept Sonny's money and protection as he basically raised her, but now wants to destroy him.

She should know that he flat-out told Ric that he loves his former stepdaughter and he will not do anything to harm her. That's the guy Josslyn's lost her mind about and that's why we need her to give it a rest.

Super Spy Legacy

At least GH will let Emma solve a mystery too | Image: ABC

When Josslyn first became a WSB agent, we had hoped that she'd get a partner-in-fighting crime named Emma. That's because Emma has actual super spy blood coursing through her veins and is also quite clever. She may even be more clever than Josslyn, so it's nice that she gets to solve a mystery.

But this mystery involves Joss' lifelong best friend and roommate. It would make perfect sense for Emma, Joss, and Trina to find Trina's stalker together, but GH has Josslyn off in WSB/Corporate Raider/Buying Sonny's Piers land, so it would make no sense to lift her out of those stories now and plop her into the stalker story. And that's a shame because that is where Josslyn really belongs.

Heather Webber

That's it. Heather Webber. Except we have to pretend this woman is not really Heather Webber, or we'd want her gone. But how could anyone not love the delightful Alley Mills? She is playing her version of Heather, who is quirky, funny, and really wants to do good, but she did kill a few people with a hook, so we have to overlook that if we are to enjoy her.

We also had to ignore that her son was a serial killer because the Roger Howarth version of Franco Baldwin was as delightful as the Alley Mills version of Heather. Since we watch soaps to be entertained, we are going to look the other way and embrace this version of Heather. We'll just pretend her last name isn't Webber.

Jack's Body

Well, we're glad it was found. We're glad Outback was the one to dig him up. And we're glad that Danny finally told the truth, which resulted in a retconned Charlotte flashback. That's because we miss the antics of Danny and Charlotte already.

But their antics now have Carly and Valentin in the PCPD interrogation room, with neither one of them willing to turn on the other because neither one of them actually committed a crime. At least we finally have this show on the road and some movement.

But what does Tristan know and how does he know it? That's the ultimate question and we can't wait to find out. Because if something isn't done about Drew...

And that's where we will leave things. A lot is about to happen this coming week as November sweeps continue, so buckle up and let's see what ridiculousness Josslyn winds up in next.