Married to the Mob? Not Anymore: General Hospital Two Scoops for the Week of August 3rd

And just like that, they are mobsters no more. General Hospital's Sonny Corinthos and Jason (Quarter)morgan just...quit the mob. They said it couldn't be done, but it was done by just...saying it was done. So, now what? Well, that's a big question, since none of this feels real of normal. And it isn't. This is a soap opera, which by its very definition is neither real nor normal, but in our Port Charles reality, something already seems off balance because how do you just...quit the mob?

Retirement Plans Part 1

Jason gave Sonny tearful news | Image: ABC

Jason's retirement we saw coming on that roof back in March. When Jason couldn't get that clear shot to pull that trigger and kept thinking of Monica before checking his watch and just giving up so he could make his teen's basketball game, we knew it was over.

When Jason took Danny on a two-week vacation to Montana before even mentioning to Sonny that he was no longer in a Jakarta prison, we knew it was just a matter of time. But when Jason kept appearing in black and navy button-down shirts rather than black and navy T-shirts, we really knew it was over.

This was a whole new Jason and a whole new Jason couldn't be in the mob anymore. We also hadn't witnessed him doing a whole lot of mobbing over the last two years since Steve Burton had been back. We have mainly just seen him counting coffee beans, which he can go back to doing since Corinthos Coffee was supposed to be the legit part of the organization. We think.

Jason's retirement brought on some perfect scenes as well. From Sonny trying to bargain and reason through the various stages of grief, offering to cut back on Jason's hitman hours and duties if he'd just stay. (Does Sonny pay with a W2 or a 1099?) But Jason just wanted out. He couldn't kill for Sonny anymore, which was a big thing for Jason to say.

The Jason who came to Sonny not fully formed and under a year old in a grown young man's body learned to kill before he even learned to love, but that Jason is all grown up now and he has loved and lost and now knows who he wants to be. He wants to be a Quartermaine, which is who he always has been.

Aunt Tracy

Tracy and Jason have come a long way | Image: ABC

That Jason led us to other sublime scenes that went further than the end of Jason and Sonny's professional bromance. When Jason told Tracy he was done with his life of crime, she didn't even believe him. After all, he had said it before, but Tracy should have noted that he had never changed his attire before.

And that change in attire is everything. As is the change in attitude. Our experiences define us, mold us, and form us. Jason's experiences when he found Sonny were almost non-existent, but in the decades since, his experiences have included love, loss, birth, death, joy, pain, and everything else life brings to find Jason where he is today. And to find Tracy where she is today.

In a nutshell, that is the joy of soap operas. Fantastical stories about very real fake people who we follow day after day, year after year, until we feel they are our friends. In a way, they are because we care about them and root for them. We even feel on some level, what these characters feel when the scenes are written and acted as exquisitely as the scenes between Steve Burton and Jane Elliot this week.

Whoever decided to team these two up as regular scene partners deserves a medal. From Tracy's many trips to the interrogation room last year to the warm moments in the Q kitchen this week, Jason and Tracy are everything. And Jason and Tracy have changed. Seeing Tracy's growth along with Jason's over the last year as they have both taken over as the unlikely heads of the Quartermaine family has been nothing short of magic for fans of the longest-running scripted drama on television. Scenes like we got this week also prove why GH is the longest-running scripted drama on television.

Retirement Plans Part 2

Sonny gave Dante stunning news | Image: ABC

On the same day we were a blubbering mess watching Tracy and Jason cry their eyes out in the Q kitchen, Sonny Corinthos made the most seismic move he had ever made in his life aside from the moment he pulled a trigger on a Brooklyn pier as a teen. He quit the mob.

We kinda expected it, but were not quite sure. Sonny had mentioned it last year when he was having his heart problems, but then the surgery was a success, he didn't seem to care anymore and proceeded as normal. After all, he tried super hard to hang onto his piers and not sell them to Sidwell.

But alas, Sonny is done too. And who better to break the news to than the son who has had to walk a fine line between enforcing the law and hoping law enforcement doesn't put his father away for good? What a relief this must be for Dante to not have to wonder if he is going to have to compromise himself anymore.

So, ok, now what? Jason returning to being a Quartermaine is just righting a 30-year legacy character wrong. But Sonny has just always been a mobster. He arrived in Port Charles a criminal and has been a criminal ever since...until Thursday. Does he make an announcement? Gather the Five Families in a warehouse somewhere? How does mob retirement even work? We know Julian tried it and bought a bar. Now, Sonny owns that same bar, so does he go back to being Mike the Bartender? We hear Nina is going to need another love interest again soon...

What Did You Do, Jacinda?

Willow is in for a wild ride thanks to Jacinda | Image: ABC

That other Michael Corinthos who has never tended bar is also going to be in need of another love interest soon because his current girlfriend just drugged his ex-wife and the mother of his children. Even if that ex-wife is Willow, we say that is most definitely grounds for dumping.

This could have gone any which way. Despite Jacinda drugging the clearly labeled Willow's drink, Nina still could have accidentally taken a sip or 10. Or Wiley could have drunk it, which he nearly did. Or Willow could be riding high the way Drew was riding high last year when Jacinda drugged him. And of course, she would be riding high with her kids in tow, which is exactly how this is going down.

Spending half the episode not knowing whether Willow or Wiley took a sip of that coffee was a nice little touch, but our first instinct was right. Willow would be with the kids; something inconsequential yet terrifying could happen. And with that, Jacinda will be ushered out because Michael already has a new love interest waiting in the wings. We could say she fell right into his lap, except she fell right into Jack Brennan's lap. And Jack Brennan is getting sick of Willow, but that's a story for another day.

Ava, Stop It Now

Ava is not making a smart move | Image: ABC

And we are getting sick of Drew already. We are sure Ava will also grow weary of Drew pretty quickly too, which is why we don't know what she is thinking about teaming up with this awful man. Nothing Sonny does could make anyone in their right mind want to subject themselves to this. But Ava doesn't really know Drew very well. Sadly, she is about to learn. Or at least we hope she learns because we love Ava and Ava being TeamDrew will be a problem for us.

Hallucination Peter, Stop It Now

Nobody, not one person, asked for Peter August to return. And we certainly didn't need him back in the form of a hallucination who is trying his best to get Anna to kill his sister. We have to keep telling ourselves not to ask what Peter's motivations are when he tells Anna that all of Faison's offspring were awful when he was one of them. This Peter doesn't have motivations because he only lives in Anna's head. And we don't want Peter living in Anna's head because he's a character whose death fans cheered. We love Anna. Not Peter. And we want our Anna back sans Peter now.

WSB, CEO, Any Other Initials?

Josslyn has a new job she is unqualified for | Image: ABC

Josslyn's life keeps getting more and more exciting. First, the girl with no college degree or any interest in becoming law enforcement became an international spy and now she has been named the CEO of a billion-dollar international corporation. Um...ok? So, did Carly put Jax up to this because this doesn't seem like a very Jax-like move?

Plus, someone needs to explain Hudson. From Port Charles to Oslo to back again when he works for an Australian company, beats up Ethan, and could be Phoebe's father. Yeah, that's a lot, so GH needs to slow down with this guy and all the other inexplicable new men who have arrived on the scene over the last few months.

Portia's Tired, Isaiah's Tired, We're All Tired

Portia is so done with Curtis, as so many are | Image: ABC

Who wants to bet that it wasn't Isaiah, it wasn't Brook Lynn, but it was Danny and Charlotte whom Jordan nearly killed on the road that night. Nobody said the black SUV that hit the guardrail was the car that drove away. So, this story is stupid. This trial is stupid. And Curtis is ridiculous. Lock him up and throw away the key, along with this ridiculous story. Then give Portia and her lovely baby some peace. Oh, and Curtis is even BFFs with Drew again. Yay?

Till next week, Scoopers, when Sonny and Jason start spreading the news...