Maybe It's Time to Shove Chase in the Lake: General Hospital Two Scoops For the Week of October 5th

When General Hospital's Chase learned what Willow had done, it could have gone any number of ways. She probably could have convinced him that all of her actions were justified, which was likely her plan.

But Chase took care of everything for her. Because when Chase learned what Willow had done, he cried FAKE NEWS and proceeded to become the most hated man on soaps. And that's quite an accomplishment, considering we were calling him soaps' best husband a year ago. O! How the mighty have fallen! And that is why it's time to... throw Harrison Chase in the lake.

Also, Strip This Bozo of His Badge

Chase really needs a clown nose or a dunce cap | Image: ABC

Really, Chase? Really?!??!?! What does this man see when he looks at that little weeping minx known as Willow? Does he recall that she cheated on him on his deathbed? Does he know that she only married him because he was on his deathbed? Imagine if he had ever seen the look on her face when she learned he was going to live.

But that never happened and now Chase thinks Willow is the most delicate little flower to ever draw breath, quite likely sent from the heavens, as Carly proclaimed. Except she proclaimed it sarcastically and to Drew, so Chase didn't get the memo.

Instead, he decided with no evidence whatsoever that his wife and her family did this. The family that has been nothing but good to him since day one. Does he remember that Granny-in-Law Tracy was his father's best friend on his deathbed? Does he remember how she was also his brother's BFF and how she allowed him to move his niece into her home?

All that is out the window now because the delicate piece of fragile glass known as Willow has been maligned by the sheer evil that is the Quartermaines. Put her in a shatter-proof box and shield her, Chase. You must.

How did we all feel when Chase came barreling into the Q kitchen to immediately accuse Brook Lynn of "forcing" Lulu to print a fabricated story, as if that made any sense at all to anyone but the mind of Chase, a most fascinating mind indeed.

Another Fascinating Mind

You could smell the wood burning in Willow's brain | Image: ABC

Willow's mind is wonderful because there is always something wacky going on. She certainly never expected to read that Invader story on Thursday morning and had no idea what she was going to do. But how fortuitous that Chase knew exactly what she should do. Too bad she had already told Britt that, yep, she did it. She injected her husband with a paralytic drug for six months and tortured him in a wheelchair. But Sidwell made her do it. (Sure, Willow, sure.)

Willow was savvy enough to know Britt would never believe anything otherwise, but she was shocked and giddy to know that Chase would never believe his precious angel who descended from the clouds could even give someone a paper cut. (Despite cheating on two husbands, one of them being him.)

Britt also knows that if you want to sue for libel, the story you are suing over can't be true. But there's our Willow, always thinking she's found a way out. Just lie and deny, lie and deny. It's worked for her for years, so of course, it will work this time. In Willow's delusional mind.

Since Britt knew Willow was never going to drop this and take Chase's advice to sue Lulu, she had to do something, so where did she end up? That's right. In our old pal Sidwell's room and boy, was that hilarious.

Never Change, Sidwell

Sidwell always keeps us laughing | Image: ABC

Never, ever, ever change, Jenz. You're our guy and Port Charles is lucky to have you, as is the audience. Sidwell sober is fantastic, but Sidwell high is a gift from the heavens Willow wasn't sent from. We were giggling when Lulu entered his room and he was just delighted to see her, but we couldn't stop laughing when Britt paid him a visit. That's when we learned he thought Lulu's visit was nothing more than a happy dream in which he was able to unburden himself.

Sidwell just told Lulu everything because why not? It was a dream. It's when you're supposed to throw caution to the wind and just do whatever.

Jenz doesn't even know he's in that hospital bed because Drew has an inexplicable vendetta against Sonny and ordered the attack on Siddy to frame Sonny. And that's the guy he helped keep in a wheelchair for six months. My, how things have a way of coming around.

Since Sidwell was high on painkillers, he has some plausible deniability. So, when Dante came calling, he just denied everything. And Dante didn't believe him for a second.

So, What Did Lulu Do?

Did Lulu really do her due diligence? | Image: ABC

We want to see Lulu explain how she printed this story without confirmation from Drew. Why tell him she wanted to print a glowing piece on his miraculous recovery to get him to agree to an interview, only to print a completely different story and not even ask him about Sidwell's allegations?

We as the audience know that the story is true. But some of us have journalism degrees and we also know a story like this would have gone through tons of legal scrutiny before it ever went to press. Instead, Lulu did all her research in one evening and apparently clicked publish because we now want to throw Chase into the lake. Oh, who are we kidding? We've been wanting to throw him in the lake all year.

Around Port Charles

We're so glad that Anna is Anna again | Image: ABC

That's right. Other things happened this week, but watching Tracy, Brook Lynn, Michael, and especially Carly react to the Willow story, we had to talk about that one plot for about 1K words.

Now, for the other plots.

How wonderful that after nearly a full year we can finally watch the real Anna Devane. Anna was kidnapped a year ago this month. When we got her back in July, that wasn't really our Anna. Plus, we watched every scene she was in with dread because we didn't know if Peter might show up to ruin things. Whoever thought that was a good idea?

Carly believes Sonny. We knew Carly would believe Sonny. She's been married to him five times and knows he's not an idiot. Enough said. Now, she better call Josslyn over for breakfast again because that girl needs to learn a few things. Again. (How funny was it when Josslyn learned her whole reason for joining the WSB was for nothing because they don't deal with petty criminals?)

Was anyone else thinking that if Drew sends Scout to the same boarding school where Valentin sent Charlotte, they could have their own spin-off series? We know Rocco will never let her go, though. It's not like he can date the next teenager soon to arrive on the PC scene, Aunt Avery Corinthos.

Till next week, Scoopers, when Chase builds a shrine to Willow outside the Q gatehouse. We all know it's coming.