Rescue Hero Rocco and Car Crash Crazy Curtis Come Undone: General Hospital Two Scoops For the Week of May 11th

General Hospital characters keep coming apart at the seams. But two stand out in monumental and memorable ways. First, we have Curtis, who is completely unhinged at just the thought of anyone else raising his child, so he is creating crimes in his head to prevent that. Then, there is our poor, poor, poor little Rocco, who shot a WSB director, watched his brother's father go to international prison in his place, and is now trying to stop that same brother and his sister from breaking into a castle on a spooky island. That's enough to send any kid over the edge, if not off a cliff.

Of course, Rocco and Curtis were not the only two characters who seemed to be losing their minds this week. Nina injected Jack with Drew's paralytic meds, Josslyn went stir crazy in the bowels of Wyndemere, Britt is teetering on the edge, and even Sonny seemed to have a brief moment of insanity when he went after Ric with a gun. That's a lot. We know. So, let's dig in with those two scoops and unpack it all.

Precious, precious Rocco

All Rocco's parents and pseudo-parents want to do is protect their dear, sweet boy from the big, bad Cullum and the bigger and badder WSB. (Since when was the WSB the bad guys?) But Rocco isn't making it easy on any of them because he looks like he is going to shatter at any moment. The secret is eating away at him from the inside out. We're surprised he can go to school, eat, and sleep. When Cassius suggests sending the teen away, he might be onto something.

How long can Rocco even keep this up? He completely lost it on Danny and Charlotte and knew he couldn't go to his parents because they weren't there that night on Pier 55. But Britt was there, so that's where Rocco ended up. And Lulu is going to have to understand that, at this moment, her kid thinks Britt is the perfect confidante and she's not going to turn him away.

Police commissioner Dante learning that his son shot a law enforcement officer (even an evil one) added a new element to this story that was very much needed. Poor Rocco (can we say "Poor Rocco" enough?) wondered why his dad didn't arrest him as soon as he learned the news? Wasn't that what he was supposed to do when someone breaks the law? Didn't you want to just give this child a hug? At least his fictional parents and fictional pretend parent are there to give the boy all the hugs he needs.

A word about Britt...

Britt is a hot mess with a heart | Image: ABC

We know "The Britch" isn't everyone's cup of tea. After all, she didn't earn her nickname for nothing. Britt can absolutely be a pill. And a mess, something her mother knows very well, but she loves her anyway. Sometimes the hottest messes around are the ones who are softest on the inside and that's what we think Britt is. A hot mess softie.

So, what was she supposed to do when she found a forlorn and hysterical Rocco outside her door? Was she supposed to send him away because Lulu ordered her to do so? That wouldn't have done Rocco any good at the moment. And what harm did she do by listening to him and offering him that hug he so needed? No, she is not his mother and she needs to understand that. But there is nothing wrong with her being Rocco's friend when they now share the same trauma and there are few people for him to turn to. Okay, off of our proverbial soapbox now.

And Curtis? Calm down, man

If Britt can be a pill, Curtis can be the whole damn bottle. He's often a little hard to take with his hypocritical holier-than-thou attitude. Never forget his motto: "Secrets and lies for me, but not for thee." Curtis, who divorced Jordan because she kept a dangerous secret from him about her son for about three weeks, is now leading a one-man witch hunt to jail a man for driving on after swerving to miss an oncoming car. And that man? He was not even the one who drove on when Jordan needed to kiss Curtis so badly that she took her eyes off the road and nearly killed herself, Curtis, and whoever was driving that other car.

And that mystery driver? Did they commit a crime by driving on? Probably not. Maybe Curtis and Justine can make up a new crime out of thin air because we are just not seeing it. Jordan was a little hesitant to join Curtis' crusade, but he now has her convinced that her scars are a result of someone not stopping to help them (he is leaving Valentin out of his story) and not Jordan being dumb enough to kiss him while driving.

We also all know the only reason he has decided that Isaiah has to be the other driver is because he can't handle any woman being happy without him. Jordan was moving on with her life, so he insisted on having an emotional affair with her. And now a pregnant Portia is moving on with her life, so Curtis has to step in and try to put her new man in jail for some made-up crime he didn't actually commit. Really, Curtis?

On Friday, Curtis really stepped in it — or should we say monumentally stepped in it? This man spotted the man he hates for no good reason touching Portia's pregnant belly and decided that belly was nothing but an incubator for his property. He demanded that Isaiah get his hands off his child. When both Portia and Isaiah protested, he had to the nerve to say he was protecting what was his.

Ok, Curtis, the women of America need to have a little chat, so pull up a chair. That baby may be yours (and we say may), but the body Isaiah was touching? It belongs to PORTIA and nobody but PORTIA. She gets to decide who can touch her belly or any part of her body because that is how these things work. And guess what, Curtis? Portia goes home and gets in bed with that man every night. We are sure he has touched "your" baby many, many more times than you have, Curtis. Thank you for coming to our TED Talk on who women's bodies actually belong to.

Of course, after he demanded that Isaiah take his hands off of Curtis' alleged property, he promptly decked Isaiah, sending him to the ground in the Metro Court Gardens. He is lucky he didn't send the wife he had an emotional affair on into early labor.

Sonny with the big guns

Sonny had a bit of a blip this week. Poor Ric | Image: ABC

Sonny had a moment of un-doneness (we know that's not a word, but it sure fits the situation) when he waved a gun around Ava's gallery, demanding to know why his brother betrayed him by buying art during his free time. In the world according to Sonny, Ric has to tell him where he is going at all times. And if he lies? Well, that must mean that Ric is plotting his death. We know Ric has been untrustworthy in the past (to put it mildly), but that's quite a leap Sonny made there. And in typical Sonny fashion, he just put the gun away and pretended like nothing ever happened. No apologies. No mea culpa moment. Nothing. Even when he told Justine that Ric told him what he was really up to, he left out the part with the gun. How very on brand for our mafia man.

Two strokes, one living room, what are the odds?

Nina got Jack rathe than Valentin | Image: ABC

At least two people are putting it together. First, we have ace detective Elizabeth, who last week figured out that Rocco shot Cullum. Any day now, she is going to realize her little buddy Willow is the one who put her ex-fiance in that wheelchair.

Carly may figure it out, too. They both asked what the odds were that two healthy middle-aged men would have mysterious strokes in the same living room three months apart. Even on a soap, that sounds fishy.

But there is Jack, down with a stroke and in a General Hospital bed with Nina keeping vigil. And a word about Nina. We are very disappointed with her. After defending her for years, we were shocked to realize that she was aiming for Valentin when she got Jack in the back with a needle. A Willow-less Nina would never do that to Valentin, and she especially would never do that to Charlotte's dad.

And that is why Nina needs to be Willow-ness again. This mother-daughter thing is not working out because Willow is borderline abusive to Nina and Nina is a shell of her former self when Willow is around. Every move she makes is for her unhinged and ungrateful daughter and it's enough.

But who didn't enjoy Willow giving Sidwell orders? Drew tried that and now he is locked in. However, we wouldn't put it past Willow to plug Sidwell one day if she deems it necessary. Watch out, Jenz, you have no idea how crazy your congresswoman really is.

General Hospital odds and ends

Kristina has baby fever again | Image: ABC

Trina's going to be a singer...which is...weird, but let's see how this goes. And Kristina? She held a baby. And that baby might be Ethan's baby. And a teenage Kristina once declared she was going to marry Ethan. And Brook Lynn and Chase want to adopt this baby, but Brook Lynn thinks she was the other driver involved with Jordan's crash. At least she gets to turn Trina into a singer if the motherhood thing doesn't work out.

And finally, Elaine and (off-screen) Mavis are back and Elaine has snaps of Willow and Chase gazing into each other's eyes in the night on a park bench in their skimpy workout clothes. Doesn't everyone jog through the park in May at night, shirtless or wearing teeny-tiny shorts and a sports bra? Well, that's what Chase and Willow do, so uh-oh.