Silence Speaks a Thousand Words...But Not For Josslyn Jacks: General Two Scoops For the Week of April 27th

General Hospital's Josslyn Jacks sure knows how to talk....and talk...and talk...and talk...and that seems to be her only skill as a super spy. She prattles around town visting people she has no real reason to visit so she can look like a ditz, ask ditzy questions, and then do something as dumb and diabolical as blab her mother's business to the wrong person...just because. And that was the week that was in Port Charles. So let's unpack it all with Avenger Barbie as mission control.

Someone get the ball gag for Josslyn

Josslyn put on her act and yapped for Nina | Image: ABC

Can this girl seriously just stop talking? And if she can't stop talking, can she at least not do it with a smug look on her face, her nose in the air, and no forethought into the consequences of her words? Cause we don't think Josslyn thinks ahead too much.

First, there is her quest to learn more about "Nathan" for no reason whatsoever. Why has she zeroed in on him in her quest to learn what Cullum has really been up to? Was their meeting at the gym random? Was that what piqued her Gen Z curiosity? Cause she kinda looks dumb. (And Nina looks dumber, but more on that later.)

Did she really think Liesl wouldn't think it was strange that she's suddenly asking all these questions about Faison and Nathan? A college student who has no connection to Faison whatsoever? Of course, she would give her the side eye. Liesl spoke for all of us when she called her "such an irritating girl." Because she is an irritating girl. Who would not find her incessant questioning irritating?

And then there was Nina. When she first walked into Nina's office out of nowhere bearing gifts (or at least a latte), we were sure Nina would kick her right out because, since when have she and Josslyn ever been close? Aside from when Nina briefly dated Jax, Josslyn could never stand the woman.

But then Nina stupidly fell for Joss' shtick and ended up waxing nostalgic about Maxie and Nathan with her. Josslyn was so obviously fishing for information that we wanted to slap Nina silly. How could she not see what this girl was up to? She was way more obvious than Nina ever was when she was trying to get information about Valentin from Charlotte.

But Josslyn kept talking. And Nina kept talking. At that point, they both needed to take a cue from locked-in Drew and just start blinking. Or we could just shove Ric's ball gag in Josslyn's mouth. In fact, that should have happened earlier, before she could blow up her mother's entire life for s**** and giggles.

Josslyn, you're not Valentin

Josslyn thinks she's so cool | Image: ABC

Did you not want to chain Josslyn to a gurney in a basement somewhere when Jack walked into his Metro Court room to find Josslyn smugly sitting there like a common Valentin Cassadine? That is his shtick and his shtick alone. Josslyn should not be copying an expert agent when she has been deactivated.

Well, Josslyn had something to say so she used the fact that her mother owned the hotel to break into Jack's room and ruin his life, right along with Carly's. We still have no idea what her motivation was to tell Jack that Carly was cheating on him with...someone. But she had to scratch that itch because why not, right?

We were ready to stick a ball gag in Lucas' mouth as he blabbed that his sister was cheating on her WSB boyfriend. He had no idea that Josslyn knew that the mystery man was another WSB boyfriend who lives in the attic. Josslyn had to take that hot piece of intel and run with it. Why Josslyn? Just why? Who did you help here? Nobody. Especially us fans who want to see more of Carly and Valentin's domestic life.

Dinner for two on General Hospital?

Carly has her own personal chef and manservant | Image: ABC

How can you not just love Carly and Valentin? We have said it before and we'll say it again. They are the most unexpected, delightful pairing we ever could have imagined and they just keep getting better. Look at how they just casually cook, order food, and go through their Amazon goodies. How domestic and lovely could they be?

And, of course, Carly was jealous of Anna. She was the love of Valentin's life and the woman he had obsessed over for decades. But sometimes life has this nasty habit of turning things upside down and all around and that's just what has happened to Valentin. He never expected to feel this way when he decided to hide out at Carly's house. And she never expected to feel this way when she donned a dark wig, big ol' glasses, and moved Valentin into her attic a month later.

But here we are. And here Jack is. Uh-oh.

Poor Jack? Nahhhh....

We're not really feeling it for Jack | Image: ABC

Jack didn't want to believe his little recruit when she flat out told him that her mom had a cheatin' heart. After thinking it through, he realized she was right and knew it just had to be Sonny. When he started questioning the amused mobster, Sonny knew there was trouble in paradise.

Jack couldn't get those two glasses on the coffee table out of his mind from the night of the blizzard. So, when he saw two wine glasses, some smashed glass, and dinner for two out in the kitchen, he knew something was up. And just like that, the WSB super spy facade faded. Jack was no more than a jilted and jealous lover when he burst into Carly's room to find her naked...and alone.

And we don't feel one bit bad for him. He recruited this woman's ditzy college co-ed daughter into the WSB to risk her life for life, lied to Carly about what was really going on countless times, and was willing to let her son go to jail, all to find the man Carly's been sleeping with. Yeah, no sympathy here. Maybe Jack can redeem himself in our eyes, but not as Carly's boyfriend. That ship has sailed.

Michael's icky plan

Even Carly thought Michael's idea was bad | Image: ABC

Speaking of Michael, we are not jiving with his plan to blow up Brook Lynn's marriage just to bring down Willow. There are plenty of other ways to do it without pushing Chase to have an affair. Even Carly pointed this out, but Michael is not going to listen. Instead, he is going to break his cousin's heart.

While cheating on soaps is de riguer, what Michael wants to do just leaves a bad taste in our mouths. Yes, if Chase cheats, it will be his choice to do so. But he shouldn't be prodded along, much less by his wife's own cousin. However, if we're going to do this, we may as well make it soapy and have Willow become pregnant. We know she is fertile — and she was also the one to tell Chase that he was not.

Car crash craziness

At least Brick cheered Jordan up | Image: ABC

It's one thing to have two characters involved in a car crash with consequences. It's another thing to have two characters involved in a consequential car crash who are just not sympathetic. Jordan is understandably upset about her burns, but after some surgery, she should be fine.

And Curtis? He has decided that only one person in Port Charles has a black SUV and he is going gunning. But the problem? Jordan caused her own crash. And there is no telling whether the driver she swerved from to miss even knew what happened. Curtis needs to calm down. And frankly, so does Jordan. Oh, Brook Lynn, you need to calm down, too. Then, have a talk with Danny and Charlotte.