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So, General Hospital fans, that just happened. Yes, that. We are not sure what just happened, but it sure was a mind-boggling week of soap opera combined with action-adventure flick with a dash of late-night television comedy sprinkled in for good measure.
Until midnight on Monday, we were not quite sure what we were in store for, but John Oliver announced on his talk show, Last Week Tonight, that we were in store for him. By 7 am, when we saw Oliver descend in a helicopter with machine-gunned men behind him, the entire GH fandom collectively said, "Oh, Z!" We knew. And we were happy. And that is where we start digging in with those two scoops to a week like no other in Port Charles...and especially on Spoon Island.
Spoon Island Has a Warehouse and Loading Dock?
Hey, what the heck happened to Spoon Island? First, Wyndemere turned into the Maritime Museum in Amsterdam after being a castle with an infamous parapet for decades. And now the island has a warehouse, a loading dock that can fit a tractor-trailer, and, of course, a helipad.
Did this not shatter your entire image of what Spoon Island and Wyndemere have looked like since the 1990s? We always pictured murky waters, a gothic castle with stone steps, fog, a mote beneath the parapet, and stables in the dark woods. We always figured you'd step off the famous launch onto the stone steps, walk up them, and knock on that big, heavy Wyndemere door.
But nope, apparently Spoon Island is an industrial complex with a bridge, because how else did Cullum think he was going to drive that big semi off the island? So, if Spoon Island has a bridge, why do they all need a launch? Can't the citizens of Port Charles just drive there? Why did Sidwell need to build a helipad if there was a bridge? Oh, we know! So that John Oliver could land in one and save the day! Hooray!
Gunfight at the Old Spoon Island Coral
Spoon Island became the scene of a literal blood bath when super spy Josslyn was finally free. After weeks of doing Yoga and Pilates in the bowels of Wyndemere while cutting the power and bonding with Dr. O, Josslyn was finally able to run free, guns a-blazing.
Let's just be blunt. NONE of the other soaps could have pulled this off in 2026 or would even try. GH's production values are top-notch, the frequent use of location shooting (even right outside the studio) makes Port Charles feel more real, and an actual helicopter and not a green screen tells the audience that this soap is serious.
The gunfight was the stuff that Hollywood action-adventure movies are made of and the scene of downed, bloodied bodies strewn around Cullum and Sidwell's warehouse was dramatic and stunning as the camera panned the damage. Thursday's episode was so well done and so heart-stopping that we'll forgive the palm trees in the background in Upstate New York.
About Josslyn...
Yes, we know we have laughed about it, joked about it, and called her Avenger Barbie one too many times, but we have to admit, Josslyn has earned her position as Junior Super Spy Extraordinaire.
When General Hospital first came up with the idea to turn this ditzy college student with absolutely no direction into a WSB agent, all we could do was roll our eyes and guffaw.
We are not even sure the show knew what it was doing or what it had planned for the end of this multi-year story (this was the conclusion of the Pikeman story, as hard as that is to believe). Did GH just turn Josslyn into a WSB agent because it had no idea what to do with this character, who also had no idea what to do with her life?
Well, if that was the impetus for this story, it was a gamble that paid off. Josslyn earned those super spy stripes this week. She never gave up, ran out in front of bullets, got herself shot, still managed to kill the big bad, and then manipulated the head of the WSB to free her mother's two favorite boyfriends. Job well done, Josslyn. With Vaughn back (that was weird), let's see what else ya got, Joss.
Back on the Mainland
While Josslyn took care of the Cullum problem out on Spoon Island, the action on the mainland was a bit disjointed, but entertaining nonetheless. We're not sure why Sidwell was ever hiding out at the Dawn of Drew house when he had another house ready for Ezra to drive him to.
Of course, Sidwell gave away the game for Cassius and outed him, but it was also the moment when we decided we really, really liked Joe. It took a bit for us to warm up to him, but he's grown on us. We love the way he finds Port Charles to be one of the weirdest places he's ever been, but now he's just going with it.
Joe didn't have much to do except to stand there dazed before getting pistol-whipped, but at least Jonathan Bennett has managed to endear him to us now.
Gunfight at the Gallery
With all the action on the island, the gallery scenes seemed quaint. We had Ava doing what Ava does. She wasn't about to cower to Sidwell, but she managed to anger him enough to start shooting. And because of Ava's big mouth, we also had Ethan with a gunshot to the ass. That means Ava and Ethan are now bonded forever and are each other's official love interests. How lovely.
While we were not surprised by a delirious Ethan confessing he was not Phoebe's father, we had to focus on what was going on outside the storeroom. Sonny and Sidwell had their big showdown, but it only felt like a letdown juxtaposed with what was happening on Spoon Island.
We suppose Sonny's earlier scene with Gio and the tear in his eye as Justine convinced him to put down the gun was foreshadowing for the return of Jason and Sonny's retirement arc. Before the fire bomb that nearly killed Michael, retirement was on the agenda. With Jason returning in a week after he was unable to shoot Cullum on that roof, it's a pretty good bet the boys are ready to hang up their guns.
So, while the gallery scenes were just meh compared to the action-adventure location scenes, it was kinda fun to watch Carlo Rota and Nazneen Contractor enjoying themselves in scenes together, even if Rota had to have a prop gun wedged into his wife's side through the whole thing.
The Kids
GH has the best teen scene on soaps, hands down. Who had Charlotte and Danny taking advantage of the upcoming Fourth by setting off firecrackers on new Spoon Island loading dock as a distraction on their BINGO card this week? How clever of those two clever kids.
However, Molly didn't think they were very clever when they immediately went off script as soon as Vaughn got them in the PCPD interrogation room. And that's what we love about Danny and Charlotte. They never listen. Which makes things so much fun.
And Rocco? We all know that he never listens. Ever. "Say goodbye, Rocco. Don't follow me, Rocco." Well, Rocco did it all and that's how Jason ended up at a WSB black site. But at least the not listening thing got him a beach vacation with Britt, so that's something, right?
Faison's Kids
Cassius may or may not be dead, but Britt is still alive and will remain that way, because as predicted, she doesn't have Huntington's Disease. And no, she was never diagnosed with it while on the run with Jason in 2021. She was told her symptoms were just nerves, but that Huntington's might still develop.
From the time she returned to the scene last year, we were sure those meds were saline and that her doctors were paid to give her a false diagnosis, so absolutely nothing about Cullum's confession to Cassius surprised us.
What DID surprise us and ENRAGE us, was seeing Peter August, because why? Just why? He was never a villain we loved to hate like our darling Sidwell. He was just a villain we hated across social media platforms, and that is saying something. Now it's clear that Anna is not cured after all and we are going to have to watch her hallucinations of him for the foreseeable future. Again, just why?
And Finally, POOR JAMES
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At least Anna was the one person who figured out that Cassius was Cassius and managed to save poor James from being kidnapped by a man who wasn't his father. But then we had to watch the saddest goodbye. We knew from day one that it wasn't Nathan, so this moment was inevitable, but it was still the tearjerker of the week (the month? the year?). Britt didn't want him to meet James for a reason, so maybe Liesl should have listened to her daughter...
And next week...well, we'll assume Valentin is coming home and Anna is coming home and Carly is already home, so....uh-oh...
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