The Butler Did It: General Hospital Two Scoops For the Week of May 20th

As General Hospital's Jason wasted away in international prison, Anna wasted away in a French mental institution, Jack lay in a hospital bed, Josslyn lay on a cot in the bowels of Wyndemere, Britt and Rocco spun out of control before making their dumbest move yet, Lulu plotted to leave town, Danny and Charlotte nearly got themselves killed, Elizabeth ended up locked in a cloest, and Dante essentially pulled his hair out, one thing became perfectly clear. This is all Pascal's darn fault. So, let's dig in with those two scoops and count the ways in which the bulter has caused so much chaos. (Boo on you, Pascal.)

Pesky Pascal on General Hospital

Pascal is broken over Marco's death...and causing it | Image: ABC

When the Five Poppies story ended last summer, we thought that was the end of Pascal. We knew he escaped, but we didn't expect him to turn up in Port Charles as Siwdell's butler and Anna's torturer, but that was exactly what happened.

So, since we met Pascal at a Croatian resort, he's tied up junior spy Josslyn and left her to die, placed an ankle bomb on Britt and left her to die, and kept Anna locked in a room in the bowels of Wyndemere. He did that all before he learned he had a mad crush on Marco and was willing to do anything to win him for himself...and that's where the big problems begin.

Pascal, you ratted him out...

Pascal was really trying to unalive Lucas | Image: ABC

Pascal is currently having a nervous breakdown for a very good reason. He knows that he is the reason Marco is dead. But he really wanted Lucas dead, so that's why he did what he did. When Pascal saw the missing med vials in the Wyndemere safe, he assumed Lucas had taken them. However, Pascal had no idea that Cullum had caught Marco by the safe just a few days earlier, which meant Cullum was going to immediately assume Marco took the meds. And Cullum was right. That's why he killed Marco.

Pascal is well aware that if he hadn't told Cullum about the missing vials, then Marco would still be very much alive. And because Pascal did this in the hopes that Marco would be his if Lucas were out of the way, a whole series of events was set into motion that leaves us where we are today. All because a French butler with a sadistic streak had a crush. Oh, Pascal.

Rocco and Britt...OY!

Rocco and Britt are going on the run...cringe? | Image: ABC

If it weren't for Pascal, Britt would have her meds, Jason wouldn't be in jail, Rocco wouldn't have shot Cullum, Lulu wouldn't have planned to skip town, Rocco wouldn't have found those passports, and he certainly wouldn't be going on the run with the woman who stole him as an embryo.

If Cullum hadn't gone after Marco, he wouldn't have seen the text from Lucas telling him that he was on Pier 55. That led to Cullum making a beeline for Pier 55, finding Britt, trying to kill Jason with a big stick, and Rocco pulling the trigger in an effort to save his brother's father.

Now, Danny is without his dad and Rocco has spent the last two months in a state of constant panic. And if Pascal hadn't opened his big mouth, Rocco wouldn't have had the not-so-bright idea to take off with Britt so he could get to know her and also watch her die. And Britt wouldn't have had a momentary brain fart that told her to say, "Sure, Rocco, let's go see the world."

All this story does now is prove that Britt's the hottest mess in town with unbelievably poor decision-making skills. But Pascal? His decision-making skills are so much worse. Remember, if he hadn't called Cullum, Rocco would be enjoying another summer with Danny as a Metro Court pool boy.

Rockin' through Wyndemere

Charlotte and Danny had a close call | Image: ABC

Speaking of Danny, did you not want to scream when you watched him and his sidekick Charlotte prancing through Wyndemere like it wasn't a full house five minutes earlier? And how did they hear all that they heard through a closed door? Were Britt, Sidwell, and Cullum that loud?

We kinda wanted Cullum to set them up in a Yoga room just like Josslyn. He could have even taken them to the same room and been shocked to find his ditzy college friend there. But alas, Danny and Charlotte made it back to the mainland safely, but they would never have been in danger if...that's right. Pascal. Sigh.

Dante needs a stiff drink

Dante never expected to find Elizabeth locked in a closet | Image: ABC

For the last two months, all we wanted to do was give Rocco a hug. Now, for the last two weeks, we've also wanted to just give Dante a hug. And Dante could really use a hug in a big way. Poor Dante had been kept in the dark since March about what his son did that fateful night on Pier 55. Objectively, that was a stupid thing to do on Lulu's part, but she was enamored by Cassius/Nathan and decided to listen to whatever he advised. Bad move.

This week, we saw Dante ready to go scorched earth while trying to also hold back. But he had some of the best lines of the week, schooling Laura on how ridiculous and reckless her family could be. From his "tales of Luke and Laura" to Lulu's manchild brother chasing his own tail through Europe for years rather than raising his own kid, Dante let it rip. GO DANTE!!!

The only solace Dante seems to find is when he's with Elizabeth, so it was nice that he was the one who found her in a closet after Britt lost her mind and locked her in there. Britt wasn't going to let this chance with Rocco pass her by after Liz found the passports. Just blame Pascal, Dante, cause this is all his fault.

However, there is one other person who should have known what Rocco did since day one, but if he did know, we wouldn't have a story now would we?

Sonny Corinthos enters the chat

Sonny has to shake down Pascal | Image: ABC

Sonny Corinthos should have been in this chat all along. All Lulu had to do the second she learned that Rocco shot Cullum and Jason took the fall was to call in Grandpa cause Grandpa could have taken care of this mess lickity split. Does anyone think Sonny would have sat around biding his time if he knew he could easily save his precious Rocco (and Jason)? Heck no.

And if Dante and Lulu don't bring Sonny into this now, they need to be put in the corner, or at least the bowels of Wyndemere, where they could hang out with Josslyn. At least Sonny now knows that Pascal is the key to it all (of course, he is), even if Sonny doesn't completely know why. Thanks to Britt, Sonny is now aware that Pascal was right there when Sidwell killed Dalton. Since Pascal caused this damn mess, maybe Sonny can take him to the catacombs and convince him to fix it.

Three sides, one triangle

Valentin is torn between Anna and Carly | Image: ABC

We can even blame Pascal for Carly and Valentin's latest predicament. After all, he was Anna's personal butler during her months in that Wyndemere room. And since he speaks French, Anna was convinced she was in France. Pascal even helped Cullum drive her insane, which led to her being locked in a French mental institution for months.

And Anna's predicament is what had Valentin ready to take off to France, leaving Carly seeing green. In fact, the green Carly is seeing is a lovely shade of jealousy green. While she has nothing against Anna, Carly doesn't want to lose her attic boyfriend and who can blame her? Don't we all want one, French cooking and all?

But seriously, things are about to get complicated now that Anna is on her way home (soon, we swear). When Valentin first set up shop in Carly's attic, he did so, telling her that he would stay until Anna returned. Well, that was close to six months ago now and behold, Carly and Valentin have fallen for one another.

We wanted Vanna back. We got Caradine. And we love them. But we also love Vanna. That means we are getting one of those super rare soap triangles where you don't even know who to root for. Well, some fandoms know, but versatile fans? Oh my, are we torn. Let's just blame that on Pascal, too. Because if Anna were around when Valentin jumped out of that plane, he and Carly would have never decided that they liked each other. They really, really like each other.

And Jack, well, at least he won't be lonely through all this. When he is finally himself again, we can see Jack and Nina hooking up. Isn't it ironic that Carly fell for the guy who tried to kill Jack, but accidentally got her and now Jack is going to fall for the gal who tried to at least immobilize Valentin, but accidentally got him? Oh, how love grows...

Not the next Anna Devane

Josslyn found Anna's etching | Image: ABC

And then we have Josslyn in the bowels of Wyndemere, following in Anna's footsteps in so very many ways. First, she is a WSB agent when she really shouldn't be. Second, she is finding all of Anna's remnants from her time in the same room. In fact, Josslyn seems to see Anna as her hero now, which is going to make Carly doubly bonkers when Anna returns.

First, Valentin won't be able to leave her side and then Josslyn won't be able to leave her side, and oh, what a headache. But a nice soapy headache, so here we go. (This is your fault, too, Pascal.)

Willow thanks her real rescue heroes

Willow saved Anna because Anna helped save her...NOT Drew | Image: ABC

And finally, we had one good thing result from Pascal's many machinations. If he hadn't helped cause Anna's breakdown, Laura wouldn't have had to go to Congresswoman Willow to call in a favor and have the French charges against Anna dropped.

This led to Willow finally acknowledging that it wasn't Drew who rescued her bone marrow from Victor Cassadine. It was the ladies. Anna, Laura, and Holly did all the work while the men managed to get themselves in trouble, including Drew, who was face down in sand when Holly got Liesl away from Victor. So thanks, Pascal, for that solid. At least you managed to do one good deed.