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Well, surprise, surprise, cause SURPRISE! is exactly what General Hospital delivered this week. And it was GLORIOUS! Did anyone predict that Willow would try to finish the job within about two hours of the jury declaring her "not guilty" (not the same as innocent, as Jason pointed out)? Nope, didn't think so. But that moment, that absolutely perfect moment when the syringe went into that smarmy little neck, was truly the day Dark Willow was born. Cold, calculated, and clever
Joke's on Drew...
All Drew Cain (not Quartermaine) wanted was a little sex with his wife, but his wife had something entirely different in mind. She made sure Scout was tucked away at Alexis' house before she wiped that cocky grin right off her deplorable husband's face. There was nobody more sure that Willow wasn't the one who tried to do him in than Drew (and yes, even more sure than Chase), so watching him realize that yes, Willow really did want him dead was EVERYTHING we needed after the last year of torture. And we mean our torture, not Willow's.
We'd say that there was no more torturous character on GH over the last decade than whoever Drew morphed into in 2024 and 2025, but at the end of the week, we were reminded of that other guy. (More on that later.) Still, seeing him plan for a night of nookie before a needle went into his neck was classic. And the most amazing part? NOBODY saw it coming. And when a soap can pull that off...well...chef's kiss. Just chef's kiss.
Who knew she had it in her?
Last year, we thought it had to be a wonderful coincidence that GH decided to recycle the Dawn of Day set for Drew's new house, but we are now sure that it had to have been planned. Willow was her own Dawn of Drew one-woman cult for a full year, living in the house once occupied by the cult leader her mother pretty much sold her to as a teen.
Willow's cult past has barely been explored since Shiloh's death in 2019, but a few people brought it up in 2025 as they watched her turn into a Drew Zombie, insisting that he was right about everything and could even reach across the ocean to solve all her problems. And Drew was her cult leader, reminding us of other sexscandal-laden, criminal, cult leader politicians who do the most heinous things, but still have an unbreakable following. So, it was fitting that Drew bought the Dawn of Day house, and Willow couldn't wait to move in.
Since her cult days, we have watched Willow go through life as a fragile porcelain doll. Soft spoken, kind, and even a martyr when she refused to treat her cancer while pregnant. Pure as the driven snow, Willow could never hurt a fly, right? Certainly, she can't like with manipulative ease, right? Sweet little weeping Willow could never do anything cold and calculating, not Willow. Oh yes, Willow, oh yes, she can.
When she put her arms around Drew's neck from behind as a sign of affection and whipped out that syringe, all we could do was whoop and cheer. After watching her masterful performance on the stand that convinced 12 important people that she was the picture of delicate innocence, that little minx didn't waste any time after her acquittal. Within about two hours, Drew was lying on the floor, and Willow was just relieved she would never have to have sex with him again. Phew.
Misery loves company on General Hospital?
So, now what? Well, Willow outdid herself at the hospital, hysterics and all. The only people who are just a little suspicious are Kai (who knows she shot Drew) and Nina (who can see something is more off with her daughter than usual). So, does that mean she gets to take the vegetable version of Drew home and torture him? if so, squeeeee.
Can you imagine this Misery-like scenario (or even the summer of 2018 when Aunt Liesl chained Peter to a bed in the woods for two months or Ric with the ball gag), in which Willow mentally tortures a man who can't move and can't speak, but is aware of everything around him, including the fact that his caregiver wife tried to off him twice? Please, GH, give this to us. It will be our reward for having to watch The Gruesome Twosome fawn all over each other for the past year. All we wanna do is have some fun. So, bring on the fun.
Sure, take the kid
Perhaps that IS what Willow has planned, since she so readily handed Scout to Alexis for the foreseeable future. We were sure she would refuse because Willow loves to have children around her at all times, but as soon as Alexis asked, Willow pretty much said, "Sure, she's all yours. Have her."
We were pretty shocked that Willow even told Alexis that she knew about Scout seeing Danny on Boxing Day. That information seems like something Dark Willow would have kept tucked away for a rainy day, and maybe she still will. At least for now, that poor neglected child will be where she belongs.
We're also willing to let Alexis' comment that Scout was all she had left of Sam slide. Immediately, we thought of poor Danny, who just wants to see his sister, while also missing his mom. We're just going to tell ourselves that Sam's little girl reminds her of Sam, so we'll give Alexis a pass there. She's been through a lot.
Chase needs to GROVEL
And Chase? He deserved everything he got from Michael and more. Then, he deserved to be demoted. Then, he deserved for Brook Lynn to balk at adopting a baby right now. He deserves the dunce cap, some time out in the corner, and maybe even Brook Lynn dumping him when she learns her dope of a husband ruined his career for someone who just tried to kill her own husband twice.
We have never wanted that poor shlub to suffer more. Dude is walking around town with his face puffed out cause 12 people were as dumb as him, seeing a weepy picture of phony perfection on the witness stand and believing every single word she said. We can't wait till he gets the same shock as Drew, but not in the same way. He needs to be brought down a peg or two, but he doesn't need a stroke. Drew needed one, though. Cause now we get a break from his voice.
Britt, take lessons from Cousin Willow
Britt, maybe you want to give Willow a call. Did you know she's your cousin? We learned that while you were dead. So, she'd probably offer you some good acting advice cause that performance at Bobbie's was lame.
Carly saw right through it. Jason saw right through it. And at least the portion of the audience that likes Britt saw right through it. Yes. Britt is a Britch and has been a Britch to Carly many times before (although they were friends before she "died"). But she was SO clearly trying to pick a fight with Carly just so Jason could witness it. The girl wasn't even subtle about it.
Drew finally shuts up and guess what?
Does General Hospital know how wonderful and refreshing it was not to hear Drew for three whole days? Does the show also know that NOBODY, and we mean NOBODY, ever wanted to hear Peter August again? Not as a ghost. Not as a hallucination. Not as anything. Just never, ever again. The one return we did not need, even for a day, was Peter August.
In nearly half a century of watching soaps (we started as a preschooler, we swear), we have rarely seen a character as universally hated as Peter August, an ill-conceived character at best and an albatross around our necks for five years, at worst. Everything about Peter was wrong from the start because giving Anna a child with Faison has to be one of GH's biggest missteps ever. Once you start a character as the child of Anna and Faison, there's no fixing it, even if you backtrack and decide he wasn't Anna's son after all. The damage was already done, and there was no going back.
Sadly, Peter WAY outstayed his welcome in Port Charles, so when Felicia wacked him with a tire iron, and Anna let him die, all we could do was breathe a sigh of relief — and celebrate. And this soap knew very well that killing him was one of its best moves ever and that the audience would scream in horror when he appeared, but the powers that be decided to torture us (and Anna) some more. All we can do is hope that someone, ANYONE, finds Anna in her Wyndemere Yoga room soon, cause this is getting old fast.
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But Emma, you went to Nathan for help? Yeah, not sure that was a good idea. Hey, Valentin, why not take another trip to Wyndemere next week? You never know what (and who) you might find...
Catch all-new episodes of General Hospital weekdays on ABC and Hulu.
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