Wicked Willow’s Wicked Games…With Valentin as the Prize: General Hospital Two Scoops For the Week of April 20

General Hospital's Valentin Cassadine is a man on many minds. He is definitely on Carly's mind as the attic boyfriend she doesn't want to lose. He's on Josslyn's mind as the key to bringing down Sidwell and Cullum. He's on Charlotte's mind as the dad she just wants a (relatively) normal life with. And he's really, really on Jack Brennan's mind as he'll go any lengths to find him, which now has him working any number of angles that center around one wacky congresswoman and her litany of crimes. So, read on as we unpack it all from one hell of a week in Port Charles.

General Hospital finders, keepers

Jack is on his forever search for Valentin | Image: ABC

At this point, it feels like Jack Brennan is Javert and Valentin is Jean Val Jean from the epic novel (and Broadway musical, since it was a GH Broadway week), Les Miserables. Valentin is not the bad guy so many think he is, while Jack is the shady law enforcement professional who just can't seem to track him down. No matter what he tries, Valentin always seems to elude him, so he's been resorting to using a teenager to get what he wants for months.

What he didn't count on was this teenager being as clever as her dad, while also being a master eavesdropper who overheard his entire conversation coercing Nina to manipulate sensitive Valentin location information from Charlotte. If he wonders why Nina hasn't come through, that would be the reason. But Jack had the leverage, so he thought he'd use it somewhere else.

Maybe Jacinda might find that traffic cam footage attractive because it could solidify her place as the heroine in Michael's life. She doesn't have a problem manipulating a teen, as long as she can keep her boyfriend. (We still like her, so we'll give her a pass.) Now, Michael and Jacinda are in on this, but they have no idea what prize they're going to find at the bottom of this cereal box.

And finally, can you imagine when Jack learns that when he's been having sex with Carly, the man he's been chasing for months is upstairs pouting?

Congresswoman Willow's claws come out

Who even is Willow anymore? | Image: ABC

But uh-oh, Nina went rogue and told Willow all about the blackmail and just how that traffic cam footage magically vanished. And that means Willow's latest persona (how many of her are there, really?) got to don her pink plaid power suit with her grieving not-quite-a-widow eyeliner and flex that DC corruption muscle, like a common president or podcaster.

Willow has apparently learned how to use committee positions during the entire month she has been a congresswoman, one who has yet to step foot in her Capitol Hill office. She threatened to defund the WSB, which, for some reason, is funded with U.S. taxpayer dollars when it's an international spy agency. Who knew?

And honestly, those scenes were just weird, weird, weird. Who was this woman, even? That's the third-grade teacher Chase couldn't get enough of nearly a decade ago? That's the cancer martyr who spent the last few years thinking Drew saved her life (he didn't)? That's our heroic nurse? Nope, this woman is someone entirely new and we're still going with the theory that Willow has DID. Yes, she knew exactly what she was doing when she shot Drew and then locked him in, but was that even Willow? Has one of her alters been hanging around just a little too long?

But anyway, Willow thinks she has Jack out of the way now, while she has no idea that another way to solve the traffic cam problem fell into Nina's lap. Or at least, that other way broke into her apartment. She should also be glad this problem is solved because next week she is going to have to contend with Elizabeth wanting to push Drew past blinking.

A sacrificial offer

Carly doesn't like that Valentin is working with Nina | Image: ABC

Carly doesn't think that they should focus on Jack anymore, but Valentin disagrees. He probably disagrees because he wants Jack out of the way so he can have Carly for himself. So, Valentin offered himself up to Nina. She can tell Jack exactly where to find Valentin, but nothing she says will be true. Carly doesn't like the idea, but Valentin doesn't care. Getting rid of Jack is the key to having just about everything he wants.

However, Jack is now using the Jacinda and Charlotte angle to find Valentin, using Willow's traffic cam footage. Can this get any more complicated? Yes, yes it can. And we are sure it will. Oy vey.

Anna Devane re-enters the chat

Josslyn had to be the one to calm down Valentin | Image: ABC

No, we still haven't seen Anna in months, but it looks like Valentin finally remembers she exists, but only because of Josslyn. If Joss hadn't mentioned Anna twice this past week, Valentin would stil only be thinking about Carly. But he is about to have all his women somehow involved with getting him out of that damn attic he's been hiding in since December.

We never thought we would see the day when 22-year-old Josslyn would have to calm down an agitated and panicked Valentin, who looked like he was about to have a stroke (and an actual one, not a Willow-induced one). Was seeing Anna's face on the cover of that book just too much for the old boy? What is he ever going to do when they eventually solve the Anna mystery? By then, Carly will certainly be free because Jack will never want to talk to her again. But what an embarassment of riches for soap fans. Thanks to James Patrick Stuart, Laura Wright, and Finola Hughes, we are going to see fan wars for the ages as the Vanna and Carradine camps battle it out. Let the games begin.

'Brocco' is born?

Britt freaked out when she heard Rocco's news | Image: ABC

We know this all comes down to Sidwell and Cullum, two men who have caused way too much trouble of late. For some reason, Cullum is STILL in the hospital, which is why Rocco ended up bringing him a pillow and freaking out poor Britt.

If Britt thought she was freaked out by a little innocent pillow delivery, her moments in the chapel made that seem like child's play. We're sure Britt is about to have a stroke right along with Valentin, now that she knows Rocco was the one who shot Cullum and Jason took the fall for him.

But weren't those scenes between Rocco and Britt amazing? We know Britt is not Rocco's mom, and Britt and Rocco know that too, but there is a connection between them. Plus, Kelly Thiebaud and Finn Carr work have this incredible chemistry as scene partners. We want more of them, even if Lulu does not. (Sorry, Lulu.)

The Ethan connection

Ethan landed a job with Sonny | Image: ABC

Ric doesn't like Ethan. And that's because Ric is jealous and Alexis knows it. But he is also weirdly protective of Sonny of late. It's not exactly what we expected after the ball gag basement incident, but Ric wants his brother to love him so much he'd do just about anything for him now.

Of course, Ric might be right not to trust Ethan because he clearly has an agenda. But if that agenda is to take down Sidwell, who are Ric and Sonny to argue, right?

Now, will Ethan's presence mean anything for Kristina? She made sure to tell him that her tastes had changed, but the last we knew, Kristina was bisexual, which would not preclude her from a romance with Ethan. Fans are clamoring for it, so what do you say, General Hospital?

Crash bang conclusions

We're not feeling sympathy for Jordan | Image: ABC

And then we have Jordan, who needs to just stop. She was the one who kissed her boyfriend while driving and then crashed. And her burns? We have seen worse on soaps — much, much worse. We're sure she will be fine lickety split once she places a call to Michael's German clinic.

Speaking of German, the car that Jordan swerved to avoid was German-made and black. For Curtis, that means Isaiah is who he is looking for, since the good doctor drives a black SUV. But is it German? Did Tracy just hide Brook Lynn's car for no reason, as we had suspected? Was it Charlotte's car that Brook Lynn encountered? We're not even sure if we're dying to find out.

A whole new world...

A magic carpet ride for Emma and Gio | Image: ABC

Ok, can we all just say a collective "awww" for Emma and Gio? Their little NYC Broadway excursion was oh-so sweet, but not too sweet. Plus, we're from New York City and love Broadway, so this little story arc had everything. Emma and Gio are in love and we are in love with them. The end.

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