Beyond the Gates: How's about a nice Hawaiian punch?: Beyond the Gates Two Scoops for the week of February 9, 2026

You know it's bad when Bill can't spell his wife's name on Beyond the Gates

Hayley better get Bill a dictionary for their upcoming anniversary on Beyond the Gates | Image: CBS

Are y'all ready to go Beyond the Gates? This past week, Ashley got a likely excuse from Grayson, Jacob did his best Boyz n the Hood, and Anastasia tried it with Dani. Across the DMV, Nicole played Pin the Tail on the Doctor, chief of staff Lia set off alarms, and Lynette spiked the punch! Let's fill up those Two Scoops and find out what happened inside and outside the gates of Fairmont Crest!

PRODUCT PLACEMENT PLACARD:

FEBREZE: 1

Is it a crime

The old mama trick. Grayson came at Ashley with the excuse that he had to bail on their almost booty call because the interrupting text he'd gotten was about his mom. See, she was in a care facility because of her Parkinson's, and the negligent staff had let Mumsy take a fall. So of course Grayson had to run over there and make sure she was okay, and rip the caregivers new ones while he was at it.

Sure, Jan. I admit that would be quite the fake-out, having him actually doing something innocent moments after he told Ashley he's not always a good guy. But I'm not buying it. Now, truthfully, I don't know enough about this dude yet to really make a fair assessment of him one way or the other. None of us do. It's just that my soapy senses still say he's involved in the blood plasma ring somehow.

As for Ashley's ex, he found himself face to face with Leslie, whom we already know has a rap sheet a mile long. (Is justice ever going to come for her? It's been almost a year since she tried to turn Laura into roadkill!) Derek was not unaware; when Jan deemed him the solution to Leslie's problem, Sir Baldwin popped off with, “Which one? She has so many.”

Whoo-hoo! Derek is a much better character when he's not anywhere near Ashley. Miss Leslie of course doesn't like being talked down to, so she was ready to huff and puff and blow Orphey Gene's down...but when Jan pointed out that Derek had all these contacts who could benefit the clinic, Leslie was all smiles. Derek still refused to accept the implied job offer, but Jan stepped in and said he'd think about it.

It does rather make sense for Derek to work at the clinic, since he can't fight fires anymore and he's got all this other auxiliary experience. Should be interesting – if we ever actually see the clinic, that is. Dani and Pamela supposedly opened their long-talked-about-agency without even a hint of a grand opening, and the ride-or-dies are never there. Alas, some locales on Beyond the Gates have to exist in our minds.

Back to Leslie: she must have gotten only so far on Google, because she went to Joey to ask him all sorts of questions about Marcel's past, his supposed soon-to-be ex-wife (Malone's such a snake he could be happily married, or not be married at all), or anything else Armstrong could tell her about the guy. Joey wasn't about to play TMZ for his forced-upon-him partner, which surprisingly left Leslie feeling desperate.

Leslie's vulnerability poked through as she said she had no one to talk to besides Eva – and that's basically true, outside of Jan, sort of. Joey still had no inches to give, but I have to wonder: why does Leslie suddenly need intel on Marcel? It's not like she wants a real relationship with her hot cop. Besides, I thought Marcel was supposed to be using Leslie to get the goods on her. Whatever happened with that?

Vanessa walked in on Leslie purring over her man, and the claws came out. Leslie brushed it off, since it wasn't Joey she was interested in – but Joey decided he liked Vanessa getting territorial. I've found myself accepting Joey and Vanessa's relationship, but only because so much has happened since Doug died. Maybe the fact that on Monday the show is rerunning the episode where Marcel kills Doug is an indication that Vanessa's soon gonna find out her boo made her a widow!

Finally, while we're on the subject of crimes, Jacob got his entry into the blood plasma ring – or so he thought. He was in an alley doing his best street thug like something out of a blaxploitation movie when henchman Ren showed up, and I don't think he was particularly convinced by Jacob's play acting. No, Ren notified Jacob that he wasn't actually in the ring yet like he thought – he had to prove himself first.

To do that, Jacob would need to “motivate” one of the couriers who was making noise about not getting enough of the cut. Just to be extra authentic, Jacob looked like he was about to hurl when he got the instruction. Maybe he's not as tough as he lets on – and it's not like he was able to put Leslie behind bars, which should have been a slam dunk.

Worse, Jacob was willing to work over this other courier if it meant he could prove himself. Jakey, take a lesson from Izaiah – screw what Elon thinks. Smitty was horrified that Jacob was okay with doing the dirty work, but he had his own hands full with June, who saw him and Jacob in hushed conversation and somehow intuited that they were talking about The Impaler!

Little bit of ESP there, but then, it certainly tracks that June would have heard of the crime lord, given how much time she lived on the street. June talked about how she'd tried to sell plasma through proper channels only for her drug use to give her away; she'd never gone the illegal route but seemed to know of people who had. The waitress didn't want Smitty getting in too deep, since it would be too much for him to handle. Which of course means he will. Bring it on! We need some Jimmy Olson action over here.

Mind your manners

Dani told the press to step off about their ageism on Beyond the Gates | Image: CBS

I had just taken my damn whiplash collar off when Chelsea and Madison decided to put my neck through the wringer yet again. But first, let's cover the fact that the ladies are still engaged, and that Bill didn't seem to like it. Not because of any latent disapproval over Chelsea's sexual identity, which Chels more than hinted at (nice touch, actually), but because Bill thought it was all happening too fast.

And wasn't he right when he pointed out that the two of them had gone from almost breaking up to making plans to walk down the aisle faster than you could say “shotgun wedding?” (Though I don't foresee Dani shooting up her daughter's ceremony like she did Bill's.) At least, through Bill, the show acknowledged its own lightning-speed handling of Chelsea and Madison's romance, which still has my head spinning.

They're gonna break up. Madison's moving to Denmark. Oh, but not because they were gonna break up. They reconcile and decide to hit Copenhagen together. Oh, but Chelsea can't because of the fam. So Chelsea proposes. They're engaged and they're gonna do the long-distance thing. Only now Madison isn't going at all, which was the twist we got hit with this week!

This up-and-down might have worked better had it been stretched out a little more, but we got all these developments in just six episodes. What can you take for tension headaches? I know Andre had to be wondering that, because he got a call from Bill, who himself let a call from Hayley go to voice mail. Did y'all see that? Bill has his own wife's name spelled “Haley” on his phone! Is he so doped up on Hayley's poison that he doesn't know her name is spelled with two “y”s?

Anyway, Bill ran straight to Dani, who was perfectly fine with the idea of their daughter marrying Madison – it was Chelsea changing from a U.S. zip code to a Danish postal code that had her rethinking things. Bill nearly begged Dani not to let Chelsea ruin her life by making impulsive mistakes the way the two of them had...which might be one of the most insightful things Bill has ever said about his first marriage.

But Naomi always has to see every other relationship through the lens of her own, so she pissed in her sister's Wheaties about how hard marriage was and how Madison could end up resenting Chelsea for giving up the research opportunity she had wanted. Way to harsh the mellow, Naomi. When Chelsea brought up the fact that Dani had stopped modeling to align with Bill's wishes, Dani said she hadn't regretted raising his children – but that she should have found a way to be a mother alongside keeping her career.

That career was very much on Dani's mind, since Pamela and Andre had conspired to get the former supermodel to sign on with fashion designer Tatum Stewart. Dani didn't know that her bestie and hubby were working on the sidelines, and mum was the word for Tatum – though they needn't have worried, because after Dani met Tatum and saw her collection, she was ready to “make the deal!” Her words.

There was only one hitch – Dani wanted to be sure her family was good with it before she brought out her signing pen. Like Chelsea with the prospect of moving to Denmark, Dani didn't want to be seen as bailing when Anita was fighting the good fight against cancer. But both Anita and Vernon told Dani to go for it! The mood was so jovial that Kat started to lament that she really didn't have anything going on while everyone else did. Sorry, Kat; your only deal is hating on Eva. And (yawn) Tomás.

Dani had left Pamela hanging while she was out getting approval from the 'rents, so Ms. Curtis had the “pleasure” of having to placate Tatum and the arriving press ahead of the big livestream announcing Dani's return to modeling. One reporter was from Eye on Fashion (cool B&B nod! EoF's been a thing on that show since 1988), and the other must have been from some paper you slip under a bird cage, because his attitude was about the same as the stuff that falls onto it.

Everything Dupree-Curtis did fizzled out, he grumped! Not that he was wrong...but then Dani swooped in, made her announcement (which even Bill watched, annoying the hell out of Hayley), and stated her vocational attention to all of social media! The tone was celebratory until Mr. Man popped off about Dani being twice as old as typical models and how were crow's feet and stretch marks aspirational?

That guy's lucky he's not dealing with Early 2025 Dani Dupree, because she would have popped a cap in his ass! Instead, Dani 2026 proclaimed that her signs of aging were features, not bugs, and that, as Tatum's clothes were designed with older women in mind, they would want to see one modeling them. In other words, f**k ageism, ya sexist buzzkiller!

In case there were any viewers who had forgotten that Dani can hold her own against anyone who gets in her grill, Dani didn't generate a single drop of sweat at Anastasia rolling up on her and making noise about how her granddaughter Francesca (“Chessy” if you're snotty) was going to win “platinum deb” over Samantha. Dani just shrugged that Chessy had lost her braces and her starter nose. Soo-WEE! Y'all thought you could try it?

The one speed bump Dani hit was when Anastasia snarked that Anita hadn't been looking her usual self – in fact, the diva had seemed a bit green. Naomi privately told Dani that, had anyone else made the comment, they would be on the phone to Anita's doctors. Dani at least texted Vernon to see if Anita was all right, but it was rather surprising that neither Dani nor Naomi made a beeline to the Dupree manse to see for themselves.

If they'd made the visit, they could have come upon Anita holding court over Samantha, a reluctant Jessica, and a probably even more reluctant Tyrell to give them cotillion prep. Jessica had to again be reminded of all the opportunities afforded a debutante (as if she – and we – hadn't just heard about that the week before), but the matriarch's words didn't quite sink in.

Indeed, when Anita passed out formal shoes so she could teach the teens how to do dances of the ballroom variety, Jessica griped about her heels being too high and then appeared to complete with Tyrell over who could be more clumsy doing a box step. (Love love loved it when Samantha called her bro “rhythmless nation”!) Vernon attempted to mock introduce Jessica, and we finally found out her last name is Harris.

Hey – I like information. Jessica clunked through her entrance to the point Anita likened it to stomping grapes; it was only when Anita took Jessica in as an honorary Dupree and encouraged the girl to tap into the brilliance that was already there that Jessica finally allowed herself to shine. Oh – and Samantha was there, too. Though she handled herself just fine.

Girlfight

I have to say this: Hayley's plot against Bill is taking too long. We just passed the four-month mark, and that Bill only passed out once from Hayley's poison is kind of silly even for a soap. And then she bitch-slapped him into waking up so he wouldn't die in his office full of witnesses! Mrs. Shamilton's latest deal is that she's afraid Bill will leave her for Dani before she can collect on his $10 million life insurance policy.

Well, if Hayley would have let Bill croak, that wouldn't be an issue, now, would it? Not that I want Bill to die – and Randy's continuing point about not rushing the poisoning so it looks natural is still a wise one. It's just that, as a watcher, it's getting a little tedious, and Hayley being afraid of losing her cash because of Dani isn't as effective a time bomb as it should be.

I'm assuming this is why we decided to ramp things up this week via Lynette, who now doesn't have to pay the $17,000 fee (which I'm sure was just the beginning) on her slow-walked embezzlement case. Hayley decided to hand the related paperwork to Lynette personally, but I'm not sure why. Doesn't Hayley think Lynette is up to no good? Why not stay away from her then, instead of buddying up to her at Uptown?

Moreover, why did Hayley bother confiding in Lynette about Bill's focus on Dani? It's true Hayley doesn't have any real friends, but it's already been established that she and Lynette are actually more in the frenemy category. Well, Lynette had the solution. Fake a mugging. It had worked back in Philly, when Lynette had needed a reason to distract her mother after being out super late. Hayley had punched her to create a “crisis.”

Turnabout didn't seem to be fair play to Hayley, but she had no choice but to change her opinion when she turned around outside of the nightspot and found Lynette's fist in her face! “You crazy bitch!” Hayley yelped. Her cheek swelling, it was now too late for Hayley to back out on the scheme, so she and Lynette played it up to the hilt when they got to the hospital. Too bad for them their plot started to unravel rather quickly.

Of course, they couldn't have foreseen that Naomi would be at Garland, too, and that the first thing she'd do would be to call father-in-law police chief Elon. Whoops. Not that the leader of the Hawthornes (who had sweetly invited Naomi to spend time with him and Darlene while Jacob was out undercover) wouldn't have been brought into it eventually anyway, but it left our scam artists scrambling to debrief themselves.

Hayley and Lynette did seem to have their stories straight: a dude attacked Hayley while she was walking to her car, and Lynette, seeing this from the exit of Uptown, ran over and scared the guy off. Bill and his misspelled phone contact rushed right over, Dani forgotten. Then Hayley cried about her engagement ring having been stolen. Guess who had it? Yup, Lynette – who drooled over it while at Orphey Gene's.

The show then connected the awesome thread between “Lynette's” ring and the one Naomi had temporarily lost in the same diner; it came up with June cautioning Lynette not to misplace hers. I love when little past details are brought up to accentuate current story. But June needn't have worried about Lynette losing the ring. Because it was Hayley who lost it...when Lynette decided to keep it as “commission” for inventing the whole fake robbery.

Hayley gave in to that pretty fast, didn't she! It was Lynette's next “suggestion” that really got Hayley's attention: Lynette wanted Bill to just get her case dropped altogether. Even Hayley knew “The Fixer” couldn't fix everything, and she was in the middle of trying to dial Lynette back to just taking a hotel room at the Bowman (since her motel was in a crappy neighborhood) when Bill walked in, confused.

What were Hayley and Lynette even doing together? The women slipped into character, with Hayley offering some spiel about how Lynette needed someone to talk to – especially with the mugger having seen Lynette and probably tailing her hoping to silence her. Which is why it would be great to set Lynette up in the same hotel the Hamiltons were staying in for similar reasons!

Well, that worked out, and Bill went to the lobby to get Lynette a keycard. But Hayley didn't like Lynette calling her husband a “mark” and intimating that she could get Bill to buy her a house. When Hayley balked, Lynette hinted that there was so much she could tell Bill – who later told Hayley it was obvious Lynette just wanted to milk the whole situation. He can see through Lynette but not Hayley, hmm? Gotcha.

Once Bill's attention strayed to Dani's aforementioned livestream, Hayley snapped him back into place by wincing and simpering how much her face hurt. Mission accomplished there, but since Hayley stopped poisoning Bill, as she told Randy, I don't know how any of this is advantageous to her. It's okay that GATES wrote the poison scheme as not working. I just can't see where Hayley can go from here. Do you?

Plus, she and Lynette couldn't have counted on the actual chief of police getting involved, so surely that's going to trip them up at some point. Randy was right to be upset that Hayley had allowed Lynette to become a part of their grift against Bill – and now we know why Joey's right hand man has a middle finger sticking up towards her. He and Lynette used to do the do! Like Betty Boo! And there's nothin' you can do!

Love that song. But yeah, it seems inevitable now that we would find out Lynette and Randy had a past relationship, or fling, or whatever. Randy played tough until Lynette reminisced about them getting it on while breaking and entering – he cracked a sentimental smile there. Even though the next second he said he was immune to Lynette, I have to wonder. Will Randy's hormones upend everything?

Or maybe, it could be Tomás who does that. When he heard that Hayley had even been with Lynette outside of the office, his Puerto Rico powers went into overdrive. He didn't necessary groove on Caroline's contention that Hayley had been looking for a friend, either. But why were Caroline and Tomás suddenly sniping at each other about her Mercedes and his junior partner status? The out-of-nowhere infighting was weird!

Loveleft, loveright

Newcomer Lia had a tongue so sharp, she could be The Impaler on Beyond the Gates | Image: CBS

Randy's hormones were nothing compared to Nicole's though. Ooh, girl has got chocolate on one side, vanilla on the other – though Carlton kind of seems vanilla compared to Kial, if you know what I mean. I'm aware that many of you are unhappy with Nicole getting with two men at the same time. But Nicole has been honest with both of them, and they've both agreed to the arrangement. So it isn't for anyone else to judge.

Carlton saw Nicole out in public kissing Kial (lucky girl), and he had a hard time putting his money where his mouth had been. Nicole reminded him that she was open and ready to justify her love any way she saw fit, and he didn't seem very happy about it, despite coming back later and telling Nicole he wasn't afraid of a little competition. Methinks thou dost protest too much, Squire Fitzgerald.

Good thing he didn't know Nicole had taken Kial home for a right shag! But Carlton's displeasure had Nicole going to Vanessa and asking if her juggling two guys made her a ho. Girl, you went to her about that? Van-Van is the Mayor of Ho Town! The one thing I had to give Ms. Heart Attach, though, is that consenting adults can handle their love lives any way they want as long as no one gets hurt and it's nobody else's business.

Back at the hospital, things started to get messier than a room where a patient lost bowel control. Carlton had just gotten through frontin' about how he was down with Mikaila's “So in Love With Two” being on Nicole's stereo full blast when Garland's chief of staff, Lia, strolled in. Carlton's fangs came out so fast I thought we had switched to an old Dracula movie.

The beef was kind of lost on me – I guess Carlton wanted to use the OR for one of his plastic surgery deals, but Lia had aced him out in favor of an emergency kidney transplant. I think the takeaway was that Lia and Carlton have an adversarial work relationship. But what really mattered was that Lia advised Nicole to muzzle the Carlton, ya know, since she had influence over the guy, obvi.

Nicole was not about Lia being all up in her personal business, and she nearly pre-empted Dani's livestream to complain to mama Anita about it. But newbie Lia's reign of terror was just beginning. Shanice had just finished battling Leslie – with Leslie claiming that Shanice was insecure and Shanice clapping with the zinger that Leslie was desperate; no lie there – when Ted wanted to chat about Dana's panty raid.

Shanice wasn't bothered by Leslie's butt floss so much as she was Ted honing in on Nicole when he was supposed to be out on a date with her. Ted heard Shanice and understood why she wouldn't want to come in number two – especially after hearing that Shanice had already been through that with a previous dude. Feeling that he and Shanice truly had a shot at something meaningful, Ted virtually begged for another chance.

And Shanice gave it to him. That's good; I really like this couple, so Ted better not mess this up. As Shanice and Ted were making Valentine's plans, Nicole overheard and smirked that she wouldn't show up at their chosen venue with Kial or Carlton or whoever. But the real ish seemed to happen when Lia overheard and popped off that her hospital wasn't a damn matchmaking service!

Fair point! But why was it Carlton's head she was biting off about it? He's not any department head; he's Ted's equal partner in a cosmetic surgery practice that just happens to have an office in the hospital. She actually threatened that Carlton would have a problem if the parade of paramours caused her problems! Miss Lia came in fast and freakin' furious, with enough axes to grind she could personally keep Medieval Times open for a year.

It's odd when a side character is brought in causing that much ruckus in a single episode. There's nothing to like about her. Which makes me think we're not supposed to. What would a hospital chief of staff have plenty of access to? If you answered blood plasma, ding ding ding! You get a year's supply of Rice-a-roni. This woman is up to her uptight ass in the crime ring, I'm tellin' ya. I wouldn't be surprised if she was The Impaler herself! 'Cuz it's not gonna be major players like Carlton, Kial, or Grayson, even if they are all recurring characters.

This brings us to the end of another Two Scoops, D.C. Edition. We're into the thick of February sweeps over here, so please do fill up the comments section below with all of your thoughts about our almost year-old soap. And until next we meet, Scoopers, live your life beyond!